


Bright Lights

by ButtonsBows



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Girl next door, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Religious Cults, Romance, Small Towns, Starvation, farm setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:08:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22876834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButtonsBows/pseuds/ButtonsBows
Summary: The Woods family farm was not a place of peace.For Lexa there was only one place she allowed herself to unravel. On the edge of the farm was an old oak tree surrounded by tall grass and seasonal wild flowers.Usually on her visits to the large tree Lexa was alone, today however she had a visitor.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 55
Kudos: 245





	1. Prologue

Lexa watches as the last girl leaves the church.  
Bible study ended an hour ago, and of course, Lexa's mother was nowhere to be seen.  
"Do you ever think about leaving?" A small voice whispers.  
Lexa tilts her head to look at Octavia, who's green eyes are carefully watching for Lexa's reaction.  
"Everyday."  
Octavia breathes out, a cloud of vapour follows the sound. She rests her head on her taller friend's shoulder, her coat soft under her temple. She weaves her arm through Lexa's and smiles.  
After a moment Octavia finally says "Good."  
Lexa moves slightly causing Octavia to stand up straight.  
"Good?" Lexa's eyebrows pull together in confusion.  
Octavia hesitates before pulling two small pieces of paper from her pocket. Bus tickets.  
Lexa's eyes grow wide, her heart in her throat but Octavia is smiling brightly. Confident in her decision.  
"We could leave. We could be happy."  
Lexa's heart is hammering in her chest when Octavia places one of the tickets in her palm.  
A shrill voice sounds from an old pickup truck in the parking lot. "Alexandria! Time to go."  
The girls spin around, Lexa quickly places the ticket in her pocket. Octavia pulls her in for a hug bringing her mouth close to Lexa's ear. "Pack everything and meet me."  
Lexa wraps her arms tightly around Octavia. "I'm scared."  
"If you stay or go, the fear is the same."  
The voice sounds again. "Alexandria! Come now, or you walk!"  
Lexa quickly untangles herself and runs towards the truck where her mother waits impatiently.  
Octavia holds her hand up in a small wave. She whispers a short prayer. "Lord give her strength."


	2. The Old Oak

Lexa finishes tying the ribbon in her hair with a tug, adjusting the bow as she turns and collects the tattered copy of Romeo and Juliet off her bedside table. As she treads quietly down the stairs, she wraps the novel in a dust cover of an old bible.

She almost makes it to the back door when- "Alexandria, where are you going?"

"Just outside," she replies steadily.

"Why?" A shrill voice replies from another room.

Lexa kicks a crumb on the kitchen floor before replying "I was just going to read." 

"I'll be needing your assistance with dinner shortly." The voice says sharply in return.

The brunette sighs, "I'll be back in time, mother." 

"You make sure you are." Her mother replies shortly.

The flyscreen screeches as it opens and slams as it closes. Lexa looks out at open fields before her, and for the first time in what feels like weeks, she breathes.

Lexa is a small figure compared to the vast expanse of land surrounding her. She follows the same path she always takes, down along the fence line to the very back corner of the farm. No one walks here on foot, the only things that pass by here are wild rabbits and workers in tractors tending the crops. Lexa and her family had been farmers for generations; Lexa was rarely allowed to leave the house, let alone the farm. The only trips that were acceptable were their trips into town on Sundays for church and Bible study at The Blake's family home on Wednesday evenings. Her mother would never let her come here if she knew. 

_"You'll get your dress dirty."_

_"It's too close to that house."_

_"The only book you should be reading is the word of the Lord!"_

Lexa hugged the book close to her chest and continued her long walk in the direction of her destination. The grass and bushes were overgrown. It took her a moment to even get close to the tree. The brunette recalled the last time she had visited. It was over two weeks ago. Lexa had woken this morning with a feeling of rare peace and decided she would visit. Lexa smiles at the sight of The Old Oak; it brought her a sense of calm and serenity she was never able to understand. Lexa bends down and parts the grass at the base of the tree, and from within a hollow in the trunk, she pulls out a small blanket and decorated tin. 

She lays the rug down and sits upon it, before pulling the tin onto her lap.

The tin was mostly filled with objects she had found around their farm and personal treasures, smooth or brightly coloured rocks, old coins, and a photograph. Things most people would look at as junk and discard represented for Lexa moments of escape and times of strength.

Lexa pulls out the old photograph and holds it up, running her fingers over the faces. _I miss you._

Suddenly, _Crack._

Lexa turns quickly, closing the lid to her secrets. She stands and moves around the tree only to see a flash of blonde hair disappear amongst the field of corn that all but dominates the land next door.

The confused brunette moves closer to the fence; she studies the field but fails to see the mystery person again. After a moment, she turns and dusts off her dress before coming to relax back under the old tree.

Later that afternoon, as the sun began to set, and shadows began to fall all around her, Lexa decides it's time to head home. She knew she was late, but her day had been so lovely anything her mother had waiting for her was worth it.

The lights are on inside, and Lexa can see shadows moving around inside, she counts three. _Three?_ The brunette breaths out a shaky breath. They must have visitors. Her mother would not be happy about her late return even more so now.

Lexa opens the door and walks into the living room, hiding her book behind her back. 

"Alexandria, where have you been?" Her mother is staring her down. Her eyes washing over her daughter's appearance before stepping forward. 

She grabs Lexa's arm. 

The brunette winces in pain as she is then dragged along by her mother to the next room.

"Ah, you're hurting me," Lexa says sharply, attempting to free herself from her mother's grip with no avail.

"Where have you been?" Her mother asks again.

"I just went for a walk," Lexa replies her face still contorted in pain as her mother's grip only becomes tighter.

"A walk that took you all day?" Her mother eyes her suspiciously.

"I lost track of time…" Lexa says, not wanting to anger her mother any further. She decides distracting her is the best option. "We have guests, did you need any help in the kitchen?"

Her mother lets her go, "Not looking like that, go to your room and wash up. We have Chancellor Theolonius here I will not have you embarrassing this family."

"Okay…" Says Lexa.

"Yes, mother." The older woman says correcting Lexa casual speech.

"Yes, mother," Lexa repeats, and then turns and runs up the stairs.

"Ladies don't run!" Her mother calls out after her, Lexa slows to a walk. Once out of view, she continues her run, smiling at her minimal rebellion.

Upon looking in the mirror Lexa chastises herself, she had dirt on her knees, the bow in her hair untied and the ribbon that once wrapped tightly around the waist of her powder-blue dress hung limply at her side. _Idiot._

Lexa quickly changes out her dress and into another. She hated them, but it was all she had in her closet. Her mother told her ladies don't wear pants, and that she would do well to remember it. _"Unless you want to be perceived as some sort of deviant."_

Lexa let her hair down and buckled her shinned shoes. Brushing her hands over her dress, she decides she looks presentable enough.

The dinner is like any other. Lexa ate her mashed potatoes, pushed the peas around her plate and tried with all her might to not upset her parents. 

The Chancellor places his cutlery down on the table and turns to Lexa, where she sits posture perfect. 

"So, Alexandria, how are your studies?" He asks.

"I feel I'm doing very well," Lexa replies, with a polite smile.

"What is your favourite subject?" He continues.

"English," Lexa replies, steadily eyeing her mother. 

"English, interesting." The Chancellor nods, before returning to his meal.

Lexa's smile is small and short. She knew she would regret her answer.

"English is a requirement by law. We mostly study the Bible during these lessons. Alexandria truly thrives in scripture and home economics." Her mother stares the brunette down as if daring her to say another word.

"Well, that is lovely to hear Nia. I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job." The chancellor nods, approving of this answer.

Lexa almost gags at the sight of the rouge visible on her mother's cheeks and the way she smiles like a love-struck teenager.

The dinner finally comes to an end, and Lexa is able to retire to her room. She sits comfortably in her bay window, wrapping a throw rug around her shoulders. 

While near the house, Lexa hides the copy of Romeo and Juliet within a dust cover from her Bible. The implications of Lexa being found with this book would be disastrous.

Lexa's eyes flicker to the clock on her bedside table, 7:29 pm her mother will be in any moment to bid her goodnight.

Like clockwork, there is a shuffle outside her door and a twist of the knob. No knock, never a knock. 

"Goodnight Alexandria. God bless," Says her mother with a tone that implies the exact opposite.

"God bless," Lexa replies in a similar tone. The older woman is about to close the door when she notices the book in Lexa's hand.

"What are you reading?" She asks, her grey eyes squinting in Lexa's direction.

Lexa looks down at a page filled with the writings of William Shakespeare and begins reciting from memory a verse of the Bible. "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." Lexa finishes.

"John 8:12…" Her mother nods in approval. Closing the door silently.

Lexa smiles as she returns to the real story. _'Go wisely and slowly. Those who rush stumble and fall.'_ An hour later, Lexa's eyes closed gently as the book slipped slowly from her fingertips. 


	3. Nice Shoes

Lexa's eyes flutter open two weeks later as though no time has passed. Each day had rolled into the other, no clear lines, no real retention. She had attended home-school daily, church weekly, allowed time for every menial task her mother assigned her, but she wasn't really there. She was bounded by grey fog, so thick it was suffocating.  
_Her mind. Her dungeon._

Today was different; She could feel it before her feet even touched the floor. Smell it before she opened her eyes. These were her good days. The rare days when life didn't seem like a prison. The exceptional days when she didn't feel like she had a bus tied around her waist.  
Lexa doesn't even wait to be out of view, of the house before she breaks into a sprint, continuing for the length of the fence line. She finally sees the tall figure she has been running towards rising up over her horizon. She picks up her pace.   
By the time she makes it to the tree, she is wildly trying to catch her breath. The air sharply hits the back of her throat, her lungs fiery.  
"I'm guessing you don't do well in gym class" A small voice sounds.  
Lexa who had been doubled over, shoots up in search of the voice. Her chest heaving, eyes darting along the fence line.  
"Who's there?" She asks, eyes wide in panic. How could she be so thoughtless, if this person informs her mother, she will be allowed out of the house even less.  
There is a noise from above, and suddenly a girl standing in front of her, brushing the dust from the back of her shorts. Lexa looks between the branch above and the girl in front of her.  
"I'm Clarke." The blonde says confidently holding out her hand.  
Lexa, who is in slight shock, holds her hand out in return.   
"Lexa," She replies quietly.   
"That's pretty..." The blonde hasn't let go of Lexa's hand, and the brunette finds herself not minding in the slightest.  
"Do you live next door?" Lexa asks, so silently Clarke almost doesn't hear.   
The blonde nods happily causing her golden waves to dance around her shoulders, Lexa's hand grows cold as Clarke lets it go.  
"Were you spying on me?" Lexa queries, eyebrows slowly draw together.  
Clarke bites away from a growing smile, "I'm sorry. I was just curious…"  
Lexa pauses, before asking "Curious about me?"   
"Yeah, is that so strange?" asks Clarke confusion evident on her soft features.  
Lexa, who is quickly becoming nervous shrugs her shoulders. Not trusting herself to form words if she opened her mouth.  
"Well, it was nice meeting you!" The blonde shouts as she throws her leg over the fence. She lands on the other side with a thud before walking towards the cornfields she had vanished into weeks before. Lexa runs for the fence, stopping and leaning on the heavy wood post. Clarke turns before she disappears from view and says "Nice shoes, by the way."  
Just like that, she was gone.  
Lexa looks down at her shoes and laughs. They're hideous.   



	4. Cotton Candy

Lexa wakes on Tuesday morning and looks out her window, the sky is a dark grey and droplets appear one after the other, rolling down the glass becoming heavier and heavier until they finally fall to the window sill. A knot ties quickly and tightly in the pit of her stomach at the thought of not leaving the house today. 

Rainy days never used to bother the brunette, but since her last visit to the old oak, and her meeting with the mystery girl Lexa had left the house more times then she could count. The familiar cloud of grey fog was close on the road ahead, but for now, she could see clearly. Every little detail was in technicolour. 

The flowers confused her, and she questioned whether they had always been that colour, that bright?

Yesterday, in the late afternoon, Lexa had laid on the grass, and the feeling of the stiff blades under her fingertips had made her smile and wish to weep all at the same time.

She couldn't understand how all of this was so new, yet she had seen them all before. She began to consider that maybe she'd never _truly_ seen anything. At least not the way everyone else saw them.

Later that day as the rain began to clear, Lexa and her mother sat on the front porch. Her mother sat, worn Bible in hand. Scripture was a lesson Lexa hated with a scorching passion, so as her mother droned on about Jesus and his disciples Lexa would count the cars that drove by. The activity ensured she was able to pay just enough attention that if her mother happened to pause her long rant to ask a question, she would be able to answer.

_56…_

_57…_

_58…_

The number was high today. Lexa decided there must be something going on in town.

_59…_

_60…Wait._

A bike.

A butterfly migration begins in Lexa's stomach as blue eyes meet green.

Clarke gives Lexa a small wave, as she continues down the street. She is ringing her bell, hair blowing across her face as she turns to catch Lexa's eye one more time.

Lexa's grip tightens around the large book in her lap. She feels her heartbeat at the tips of her fingers and the souls of her feet. 

Lexa's eyes open slowly. At first, she is not sure why she is awake; it is still dark outside, the moon hanging low in the sky. Feeling like she had barely got any sleep, Lexa rolls over to face the wall of her bedroom. She is just able to make out the dark shadows of a cross on her wall. The only thing hanging on an otherwise barren bedroom wall. Lexa closes her eyes. She is shutting them tightly and wishing herself away, to a better place.

Lexa hears a sound, like hard raindrops on her window. 

She opens her eyes slowly, turning her ear towards the sound, hearing it again.

 _Tink. Tink._

Curious, Lexa pulls back the covers and walks silently towards the window.

She slides open her window, poking her head out into the night air.

"Clarke?" Lexa rubs at her eyes gently, the memorable girl standing on the grass below her window comes into focus. Her eye's shining a bright blue even through the darkness.

"Lexa," Clarke whispers.

"What are you doing here?" Lexa turns towards the door to her bedroom.

Clarke looks around, "You want to go somewhere?"

"What? I can't." Lexa's whispers. _What a ridiculous idea._

"Why?" Clarke smiles, mischievous and inquisitive.

"I...I..." Lexa turns towards the door again. A current of fear flows through her entire body. What if Mother catches me?

"Live a little!" Clarke says a little louder than planned. She cups her hand over her mouth. Eyes moving to look at the surroundings.

"My parents will kill me!" Lexa says. Impassable fear now setting in. It had been a long time since Lexa had last snuck out. The similarity in the night air brings Lexa back to that night. Air fresh, moon low, although there had been more clouds that night. It had been fitting, really. Lexa had found it hard to get to sleep, rolling around in her sheets for what felt like hours. The fresh bruising on her forearm and sharp pain on her left cheek the consequence of her mother's most recent outburst. All because Lexa had left a mug on the sink. 

_"You filthy girl! You are never going to acquire a husband!"_

Lexa shakes the memory from her mind. 

"All the more reason to do a little living!" Clarke says, smiling. Her smile breaks through the nauseating feeling in the brunette's stomach. "-Come on, get dressed!"

Clarke disappears, ducking low and moving silently through the yard.

"Clarke?" Lexa searches the bushes. Clarke, however, is unable to be seen. 

Despite her rapidly beating heart and weary eyes, Lexa finds the sensation of anticipation too hard to ignore. 

Memories like tiny eruptions go off in her mind as she slips out of her nightgown and into a collared navy blue dress.

Octavia's smiling face is showing her the two overnight bus tickets. One with Octavia's name and the other with her own. _"We could leave. We could be happy."_

Lexa smiled at the memory of her friend. She is regretfully immediately plunged into the following one. Pain shooting through her skull as she dragged by her ponytail. The feeling of grass roughly scratching her back. The sensation of the rug in her lounge room under her palms. Blinding pain. Darkness.

Lexa breathes in deeply, fumbling with the brown strap on an old pair of sandals. Lexa spends a few moments taming her hair before moving across her room to the window. The brunette stood looking at the ground before her.

Fatefully her window on the houses second story was perfect for sneaking out. A fifteen-year-old Lexa had discovered this, that very night many years ago. 

Her mind flashes to herself three years ago, lying on the kitchen floor begging her mother to let her eat dinner, she hadn't eaten in 3 days and had had a headache all morning and night. Instead of dinner, her mother had dragged her back to her room and locked the door from the outside.

"Well Lexa, here goes nothing" The sensation of fear and freedom rolled into one small tightly wound ball in the pit of her stomach

Lexa takes a breath before crossing the imaginary line that separated her from right and wrong.

She climbs down the drainpipe, before balancing herself on the porch fence. Clarke stands with her hand out, helping Lexa with her last jump to the ground.

"Didn't think you'd show," Clarke says, hand still holding Lexa's.

"Neither did I," replies Lexa, not making a move to separate them.

Clarke smiles before crouching back down and motioning for Lexa to follow her. Her index finger drawn to her perfect pink lips. Shhh.

Lexa mindlessly follows Clarke around the side of her house.

The girls don't speak until they are retrieving Clarke's bike from the bushes outside Lexa's house.

Clarke climbs on her bike. 

"What are you waiting for?" Clarke asks.

Lexa's eyes narrow in confusion. Clarke smiles brightly and taps the handlebars "Climb on."

"On there?" Lexa asks, as though the blonde had just asked her to run down the street completely nude.

Just then, Lexa's front light turns on. Clarke's entire body stills, eyes growing wide as Lexa scrambles onto the handlebars. 

"Go! Go! Go!" Lexa says once she settled.

Lexa is alive. She is feeling everything. _Every single thing_. Lexa swore she could feel the heat of the stars and smell the forest growing.

Clarke weaves the bike, left and right slowly lulling Lexa out of her moment.

"Hey, Clarke…" Lexa tightens her grip on the handlebars.

"Yes, Miss Giggles." Lexa hadn't noticed, but she was indeed smiling and quietly laughing to herself. Giddy with excitement.

"Where are we going?" She finally asks.

"Do you really care where?" Clarke asks.

"Not really…" Lexa replies honestly. There was a large part of Lexa that wished Clarke could peddle to infinity and take her away from this life.

They round the corner, and in a moment, Lexa's vision is filled with bright lights and upbeat music that seemed to be coming from all directions.

"What is this?" Lexa asks, having never laid eyes on such a spectacle. 

"… It's a carnival?" Clarke watches Lexa's hair blowing in the wind. Her heart growing sad for the girl atop the handlebars. "Have you never been to one?"

"Is it like a gathering?" Lexa's eyebrows are drawing together in puzzlement. 

"It's a…kind of like a party." Clarke begins to explain.

"Oh… Whose birthday is it?" Lexa asks, her head turning in Clarke's direction to hear her answer.

"How about for today, it's yours?" Clarke meets Lexa's eyes. The blonde slows her bike and focuses on them, noting the causal redness of being pulled from sleep too early. The colour of green like that of a forest, not unlike the one Clarke spent her afternoons drawing in. They were staring back at her now with avid curiosity and an underlying pain that Clarke was unable to read nor comprehend.

"Mine?" Small wrinkles appear on Lexa's nose as she scrunches her face in puzzlement.

"Yeah! Why not?" Clarke smiles as her fingers curl over the break, slowly squeezing until they come to a full stop. 

Lexa slides down off the handlebars. "I've never done that before."

"Ridden' on handlebars?" Clarke asks.

"Yeah, or been on a bike," Lexa says, shrugging her shoulders.

"You've never been on a bike?" Clarke asks, once again a feeling of sadness creeps into her gut. 

"No." Says Lexa, shaking her head.

"Wow." Clarke begins wheeling her bike towards the gates of the carnival, Lexa following closely beside her. 

Lexa turns to Clarke, and for a moment the blonde feels like she's lost in the woods. 

"It's beautiful," Lexa says quietly.

"Yeah… beautiful." Clarke allows herself one moment in wonderland before she locks her bike to a stop sign and grabs Lexa's hand tugging her in amongst the crowd of people.

"What if someone sees me?" Lexa asks an edge of apprehension in her tone.

"Like who?" Clarke asks, sceptical.

"People from bible study? Church?" Lexa's eyes dart around their environment.

"We'll lie," Clarke says, very simply.

"Lie." Lexa nods, she likes the simple explanation. 

The Ferris wheel is taller this year. It glows the brightest out of all the rides at the show. Clarke turns to look at Lexa, her face reflecting the lights of the carnival below them. The lights are swirling in her eyes. Beautiful. Was all Clarke could think when looking at this girl. She hardly knew her, they had barely spoken, and yet, Clarke sat on the Ferris wheel rising higher into the sky completely enchanted by this girl. The only person she wanted to share the beauty of this moment with was, Lexa. 

She deserved a million and one moments just like this. She deserved to be unrestricted, unlimited and free. 

Lexa was silent, in awe of the life blossoming all around her. Her hands are tightly gripping the bar in front of her—Clarke's hand mere millimetres from her own. Lexa feels the gap close, Clarke's pinkie is softly brushing against hers.

"Are you okay?" Clarke asks, her blue eyes pouring into Lexa's.

"I'm more than okay." The brunette says softly.

"How do you feel?" Clarke asks.

_Clink._

_Jolt_.

The Ferris wheel comes to a stop at the peak.

"Oh!" Lexa exclaims, "It's high." 

Clarke giggles at the slight alarm on Lexa's face. "Ferris wheels tend to do that." 

Lexa is frozen solid. She had never been this high in her life. Every part of her wanted to take in the sights and sounds, but she couldn't. Her only thoughts stuck on the image of them crashing to the ground.

Clarke is noticing the girl beside her beginning to spiral, "Hey, Hey... Lexa, look at me."

Lexa tears her eyes away from the ground and float to where Clarke's wait. Steady and reassuring.

"You can do this! In a moment we're going to start moving again. Before you know it, we'll be back on the ground. I promise. You're safe with me." 

Lexa feels the fear wash away as Clarke brings her hand up to touch the brunettes cheek. Lexa only focuses now the brand left on the tip of her cheekbone.

Clarke wasn't lying The Ferris Wheel comes to a halt in front of a man. He shuffles them off and helps a couple.

"Oh!"

Lexa watches as Clarke's face lights up.

"-Come, follow me" Clarke grabs Lexa's hand and slowly weaves them through the crowd.

They stand before a large pink food stand _'Glitter Floss'._

Lexa rereads the sign, her brows pulling together. "What's glitter floss."

"Cotton Candy? Fairy floss?"

Lexa's eyebrows knit together even further. "What is it made of?" Lexa asks.

Clarke is once again reminded of how sheltered Lexa must be. Clarke didn't really know what kind of life Lexa lead, but she had heard rumours about her family. Clarke tried her best not to listen, but it was hard not to let that gossip float into her mind whenever Lexa all but proved it true. Clarke wanted to be the one to open Lexa's eyes to all the joys of the world.

"Well it's sugar, and they basically just get it super hot and spin it really fast, and it makes magic."

"So you eat it?" Lexa asks.

"Yes" Clarke nods, she holds up two fingers to the guy behind the machine and hands him her money.

Lexa watches in amazement as the man whips a stick around, it quickly gathers on a stick long pink spider webs.

Clarke grabs the first stick from the man and passes it to Lexa.

It's bigger than her head. A bubbly laugh erupts out of Lexa's throat.

Clarke couldn't help but join Lexa even before she knew what she was laughing about. Once she contains herself, she turns to Clarke. "How am I meant to fit this in my mouth?"

Clarke pulls a piece off, and her heart begins to hammer in her chest. She moves closer to Lexa and places the smallest piece right in her mouth. Lexa smiles, the sugary taste takes over her mouth, but it was nowhere near as sweet as Clarke's proximity moments ago.

Lexa's shoulders relax as her eyes light up. "Wow..."

"I know, right."

Lexa continues to pull piece after piece off until most of her cloud of floss is gone.

"Clarke!" A voice shouts from behind them. The girls both turn in the direction of the call.

"Jasper! Hey!" The tall boy motions for the girls to join him. He is sat with three other people all sitting in a loose circle on the grass.

"What are you guys getting up to?" Clarke asks.

Jasper looks around, and slowly says "Nothing much, just watching the world go by" 

Clarke frowns at him "How much have you smoked tonight?"

Jasper holds his thumb and his pointer right up to his eye. Holding them a millimetre apart, he says "This much."

"So a lot then" Clarke responds.

Jasper and Monty fall all over each other giggling, lost in a world of their own.

"Guys this is Lexa, Lexa this is my bunch of misfit friends, that's Jasper, Monty, Finn, and Raven."

While walking over to join the group, Lexa's heart had begun to race. Her anxiety was creeping into her chest. 

She doesn't recognise any of the teenagers before her, so relaxes slightly. Feeling relatively safe that none of them knows her or her family "Hello, everyone" she offers a small wave.

"Hey Lexa," says Finn.

"Hey, kid," follows Raven.

"Nice to meet you," Monty says through a broad smile, before descending into another fit of giggles.

Clarke turns to Lexa, "You want to sit for a bit?"

Lexa pushes her worry aside and nods.

Clarke slips her hand into Lexa's. 

It shoots sparks all the way up her arm and into her chest. Lexa wonders for a moment if Clarke knows how rare simple gestures of kindness like this are in Lexa's life. She wonders if the blonde senses it.

The girls come to rest on the grass just behind Clarke's friends.

"What have you guys been up to tonight?" A small brunette asks Clarke, raising her eyebrows suggestively. Clarke responds by rolling her eyes.

"We went up in the Ferris wheel, got ourselves some fairy floss and then sat with a bunch of losers."

Raven turns to Finn "She's surely not talking about us?" 

"Surely not." Finn shakes his head, taking a long drag from the cigarette in his hand.

"Definitely sat with another group before us" Raven continues.

"Definitely" Finn nods, smoke pouring from between his lips.

Clarke shakes her head, turning to Lexa her blue eyes catching the brunettes like a magnet.

"Do you see any rides you want to try?"

"I'm happy here," Lexa says a light smile playing on her lips.

Lexa looks away to stop the pulsing in her temples. It is feeling she is becoming familiar with in Clarke's presence. Clarke follows the curve of Lexa's neck as she turns, lost in her soft jaw and the loose curls dancing over shoulders.

The girls sit on the grass, laughing along with Clarke's friends. Lexa surprises even herself with how relaxed she becomes in their company. 

Clarke turns to Lexa who had been watching her while she ran her fingers through Ravens hair, creating one long braid. She moves from behind Raven, sitting just in front of Lexa, "May I?"

Lexa nods smiling, Clarke takes a small amount of hair from within Lexa's soft curls and creates a small braid amongst them. When she is finished Clarke lays down in the grass surrounded by small white flowers, Lexa can't think of a time she had seen anything more beautiful.

"Join me?"

Clarke watches as Lexa visibly swallows. She loosens the hold she has on her knees, slowly moving backwards until she feels her head come to rest on the soft grass.

Blue eyes meet green. 

Clarke thinks of how Lexa's eyes remind her of her favourite place on earth.

Lexa thinks of how Clarke's eyes remind her of freedom.

Time passes, yet stands still.


	5. Can I see you again?

The next morning Lexa runs her fingers over a small plait hidden amongst her long hair. 

Lexa smiles at herself in the mirror. She can still feel Clarke's hand entangled in her own. She wondered for a moment what it meant, but pushed it from her mind reluctantly as she hears her door handle twist. The lack of knocking a usual and expected occurrence.

"Alexandria, it's time to go." Her mother says, even at the door she makes Lexa feel small.

"I'm ready," Lexa replies.

"Good. Fix the spot on your shoe. We are going to the house of the Lord. You can not show up a mess." Lexa's mother says sternly.

"Of course mother, I will fix it and be right down." Lexa finds the spot on her shoe and bends over to clean it. The mark was minuscule. She had no idea how her mother even noticed a spot that small. 

The familiar weight had begun to form on her chest. A feeling she had escaped for weeks. 

Last night was magic and otherworldly. Lexa had felt dread when she awoke. She had been confused, thinking the previous night had all been some wonderful dream. Lexa, in her grief, had thrown herself under the covers running her hand under her pillow, pulling it closer to her body. As her hand ran between the sheets, her fingers found a small piece of cardboard. Pulling it out and holding it up with two hands. Her heart released all the tension she hadn't realised she had been holding and held the piece up to the morning light _'Admit One'_. Lexa couldn't help herself; she had rolled smiling into her pillow. 

Clarke was like coming up for air after being stuck under a mountain of white waves. 

Church went by as usual. She smiled and made small talk with all the patrons. It was a rather small congregation. Lucky for Lexa she knew these weren't the only type of people that existed in this world. Otherwise, she would have no hope for humanity. They were nasty, opinionated and ignorant. 

She knew not all congregations were this way. She had visited her Aunt Indra's Sunday service, and they spoke of the Lord's love and acceptance. They sang his praise full of joy, happiness and hope spread across their faces.

This could not be said for the service she attended weekly with her mother and father.

The chancellor stood on his podium, like a haunted house on the hill. He was foreboding. Risen high above where Lexa and her parents sat. Lexa's mother and father were respected in their church. Years of following the chancellor and his ideas had them amongst the highest revered in the church. Today's service was the same as any other, full of talk of the return and how we would stand before him. 

The car ride back home is slow. She ached to be back on the farm, back at her oak tree. Where she had another chance to be rid of this mundane life she lived, to be with her new friend.

"Alexandria, when we arrive home, I will need your assistance. There will be no walking today." Her mother's voice is wicked. As though she knew what Lexa was up to, as though she knew these walks were what kept Lexa sane.

"But… I.. I need that time." Lexa can feel herself panicking.

"Are you arguing with me?" Her mother turns slightly in her seat so that all Lexa can see is the profile of her angular face.

"No… Not at all mother, I just... I use that time to study The Good Book and speak with our saviour. Chancellor Jaha really has me considering some of my daily choices." Lexa lies, she had become an expert at saying the right things to avoid extra time with her mother.

Lexa sees her mothers shoulders relax, then tense again.

"You may have an hour. You are to return by noon." Her mother says as sternly as usual.

"I understand," Lexa replies, turning to stare out the window. Catching a glimpse of a large white and red tent being deconstructed and a Ferris wheel towering above it, reminding her of her one night of freedom.

Lexa goes straight up to her room, climbing out of her dress, and placing it in the laundry hamper. She throws on another dress, flowy and covered in florals. Heading out the door, she realises she is still wearing her Sunday service shoes. So she quickly swaps them for a pair of leather strapped sandals.

She had less than one hour to wait at the tree. 

As soon as she is out of sight of the windows in her home, she breaks into a fast-paced run. She sees an acquainted scratch marked in a fence post and knows the tree is seconds away. Her feet are sore, and her chest is on fire, but she has a hope deep in her heart, and it keeps her pushing through.

When Lexa arrives at the tree, she begins searching the cornfields next door, hoping to see Clarke. She doesn't see anything, Lexa scolds herself for being so hopeful. _Why would she come today, she's had enough of you._ Lexa crouches down and pulls the blanket and worn tin box out from under the tree. Placed gently on top was a single bush rose, the very kind that grows wildly next door. Lexa brings it to her nose and breathes in. It's scent is intoxicating. It reminds her of a Ferris wheel and fingers entangled, and she almost doesn't notice the small note resting atop the tin box.

_Lexa,_

_Thank you for last night. I had an amazing time._

_Can I see you again?_

_Tomorrow, after school?_

_-Clarke._

Lexa leans back against the tree, a steam train running through her stomach. 

Lexa makes it back home ten minutes before the hour she was allowed.

Yet her mother was still infuriated. She sends Lexa to bed without supper. The brunette feels her shoulders weaken. She had been looking forward to dinner tonight. Her stomach came to life, grumbling and lurching clearly not amused at the fact she would be going to bed hungry again. Lexa didn't argue she just nodded and turned towards the stairs. Lexa runs her hand along the bannister of the stairs. The complete smoothness of the railing something she couldn't remember noticing.

Lexa had been checking the sizeable wooden clock on the wall the entire day. It seemed that every time she looked at the clock, it was no further past the last time she had looked at it.

Lexa sighed.

Her mother looked up from where she sat cross-stitching. She frowned before looking back down.

Lexa rested her own sewing on the chair next to her. 

"I think I need to go pray." She says.

Her mother looked up from her cross-stitch again and nodded.

"May I spend time in the fields?"

"Change out of that dress. That dress is far to nice to wear walking in the fields."

Lexa couldn't believe her luck. Her mother had just given her permission to leave. She hadn't even specified a time to be home. Lexa hadn't been this lucky in months. Lexa smiled but steeled herself. She didn't want to ruin her chance.

"I will." She replies, attempting yet again to hide her smile.

Lexa stands in the doorway to her bedroom and stares into the barren space. 

Lexa's mother hated clutter, this meant Lexa only had a few personal items; none of which were allowed on display. Her bed sat in the centre of the white room, pink sheets hid a small spring that had cut Lexa's foot on more than one occasion. 

Lexa makes her way the bed towards her wardrobe. 

A feeling she wasn't accustomed to had her trying on three different dresses before settling on a dress the colour of her cheeks after a hot day.

Lexa ties a white ribbon in her loose curls. She silently closes the door to her room and makes her way down the stairs. She fears saying goodbye to her mother, believing it may be her a chance to say she is no longer allowed to go so instead before slipping out the door she scribbles a note.

_I will be back soon._

_-Alexandria._

Lexa sits under the tree, staring out towards the large expanse of space. The sky is a canvas filled with strokes of white against blue.

"Hello?" Clarke's slender fingers snap Lexa out of her daydream.

The blue of the overreaching sky could never compare to the blue orbs searching her own.

"Clarke, you came." Says Lexa. Standing up to brush grass off her dress.

"Of course, I did!" Eyes still searching Lexa's "I have been thinking about this all day! I didn't even get changed."

Lexa glances down at Clarke's uniform. She wore the white shirt untucked and necktie loose. Her shoelace had come untied, and Lexa had to fight the urge to bend down and tie it, years of perfection seared into her habits.

The brunette's shoulders rise and fall, her heart threatening to beat out of her ribcage. 

"How was your day?" Lexa asks, brushing a loose lock behind her ear. 

Clarke watches the loose lock disappear and breathes in tightly before turning and beginning to walk, "It was slow. I thought the afternoon would never come."

"I felt the same! I'm glad I wasn't the only one…" Lexa says happily.

"I had an idea when I was walking home from the bus."

The brunettes eyebrows draw together "Oh..?"

"I…-I want to show you something. Will you come with me?" Clarke asks, almost nervously.

Lexa nods slowly. She doesn't ask where Clarke is going to take her. Lexa felt as though she would follow this girl in the uniform anywhere. Her heart was a shadow for Clarke.

Lexa walks steadily behind Clarke when the path opens the girls begin to walk side by side. Their hands were blown together knuckles crashing, the touches so fleeting but sending seismic shifts through their entire bodies.

This was going to be the second time in two weeks Lexa had left her parents farm unsupervised. 

From a young age, Lexa knew the way her parents treated her wasn't normal. She wasn't like the smiling children she passed in the car on the way to church. Wasn't like the other kids in her bible study or even like her cousin. She was different. Her parents were different. They were not nurturing or loving. 

While other children received kisses on the head as they left bible study. Lexa was greeted with cold eyes and a turn of the heel, telling her silently to follow. The only happy memories she had were with her Aunt Indra and cousin Anya, and as though her parent knew they brought her happiness, they even managed to take them away from her. 

Her parents couldn't know about Clarke, the girl walking beside her. If they knew they would be rid of her too. Lexa didn't know if she could survive another heartbreak like that again.

"You're lost in thought," Clarke says, she is walking backwards looking at Lexa. A smile dances on her lips.

Lexa's eyes drop to the dust-stained sandals, bending down to pull a long piece of grass that had found itself tangled in her buckle. 

"What were you thinking about?" Clarke asks, trying to help the girl open up.

"I was just thinking … I don't know." Lexa grasps her hands, interweaving her fingers. Lexa had been about to say what was on her mind. But she stopped herself out of habit. No one had asked Lexa how she felt, or about her thoughts in so long, and she wasn't sure how much or how little you were meant to reveal.

"So… Homeschool?" Clarke asks, reading Lexa's discomfort.

"Yes," Lexa says, the trees in front of them seemingly growing taller as they move closer.

"Do you like it?" Clarke asks, kicking a stone in her stride.

"No. I spend all day with my mother. It's not exactly the way anyone should have to spend their day." Lexa says, her word's streaming out thoughtlessly.

"Interesting, so not a fan of mother dearest?"

"She could possibly be the devil incarnate," Lexa says, feeling a weight lift off her chest as Clarke laughs.

"She sounds like half the teachers at my school. I guess at least I get a break from them when I go home." The blonde's eyes float over to Lexa's.

"I just can't wait to get out." 

Clarke frowns, although the statement mirrors what her classmates say daily. That they _'can't wait to leave this town and head to a big city'_ There is something in the way Lexa says she _'can't wait'_ that all but knocks the wind out of Clarke. There is desperation there, the hopelessness that Clarke doesn't think she had ever heard in someone before.

"Where do you think you will go?" Clarke asks.

"Anywhere but here… I have nowhere else to go but…" Lexa begins to feel like she is revealing too much, but she continues nonetheless. "I can't stay here." For as long as Lexa could remember she had been crumbling, breaking down slowly. "-I want to live somewhere, enchanted. Where the sun is always shining, and I can just be whatever I want to be." Lexa looks to Clarke, and they share a moment of understanding. Clarke slips her hand into Lexa's, giving her hand a squeeze. The brunette wonders if Clarke could hear her heart beating. She pulls her along, an exciting leap in her step.

"Now, you have to close your eyes." Clarke moves behind Lexa and places two hands over eyes. She slowly leads her forwards.

"Why?" Lexa asks, tripping slightly on the forest floor.

Clarke leans in close, in almost a whisper "I want you to see it how I first saw it." Clarke's breath against Lexa's ear is causing her to shiver. Clarke smiles at the heat under her hands, knowing her most recent action had caused the taller girl to blush.

The two move forward through the forest for three more steps before Clarke slowly uncovers Lexa's eyes. When Lexa's eyes move into focus, she still isn't sure if this place is a mirage or if this magical place was real. 

"It's real," Clarke says, somehow reading Lexa's thoughts.

"Wow."

"It's incredible isn't it."

Lexa closes her eyes, "I've never seen anything like it."

"I felt the same way when I was first brought here."

The girls continue their stroll into the forest.

"So... who was the first to bring you here?" Lexa asks.

"My dad actually," Clarke says stepping over a large stick.

"Yeah, he's my best friend."

"He sounds wonderful." Lexa feels the usual tug of envy. The same envy she feels for the children at bible study.

"So you have said your mother is the devil incarnate, what about your dad?"

Lexa is quiet for a moment. She doesn't want to tarnish the good things Clarke has just said about her family. With the soul-crushing version of her own.

"There is not much to say really. You were saying you and your dad bond over music?"

"Yeah… oh isn't it just..ahh I can't even explain to you, I heard this amazing song the other day."

Clarke walks Lexa over to where the rocks meet the edge of the lake, and they settle close to one another.

Clarke pulls her bag around to rest on her legs and pulls out a speaker. She is resting it on the leaves behind her. Lexa watches her fascinated as she pulls a small device from her top pocket and begins fiddling with buttons on the screen.

Lexa not wanting to sound foolish doesn't ask.

"Ok.. so I heard this song the other day. Please don't think me a sap but it made me think of you." Clarke says as she locks the screen to phone.

"Of me?" Lexa asks, unsure she had heard Clarke correctly.

"Is that ok." 

"More than."

Clarke smiles that smile and Lexa can't help but melt under her gaze.

Lexa hears a sound behind her and almost jumps up to separate her self from this compromising position, Clarke stills her with a gentle hand on her thigh and Lexa is lost in translation. 

Blue eyes move towards the speaker, and it's then that Lexa realises the music is coming from the speaker. It's just like a miniature version of what they have at church. Except that the music coming from this speaker was upbeat and beautiful. Lexa couldn't describe the sounds they were whimsical and fantastical and everything Lexa wished her life was. 

"Her name is Birdy."

"Who?" Lexa opens her eyes, they had slipped closed without her even realising.

"The girl who is singing."

"Her voice…" Lexa starts to say.

"It's incredible isn't it."

Lexa had never heard music like this before, the only music she listened to was that of hymns at her parent's church. 

Lexa lays her self back, leaving her feet dangling in the water. Clarke looks down at her, a delicate smile playing on her lips. Clarke mirrors the action. The two girls stare lazily up towards the sky, the flecks of light streaming through the trees dancing on their faces.

"This is peaceful," Lexa says, turning her face towards the girl next to her, sharp blue eyes come into focus and Lexa finds herself quickly turning away. The swooping feeling in her stomach, creating goosebumps all over her body. Clarke watches the blush form on the tips of the brunette's cheeks and smiles shyly before casting her eyes once again to the sky.

"If you could be anywhere, where would you be?"

Lexa stopped herself from revealing that she had never been so happy and content in her whole life and that if she could spend the rest of her life laying here in Clarke's company with the gentle melody playing all around her, she would die a happy woman.

"I don't know?"

Clarke turns her head to watch Lexa, "You can't think of a single place you would rather be..?"

"I think… I'd like to be wherever my Aunt and cousin are." Lexa finally answers.

"Do you not see them anymore?"

"It's been a while."

"How long?" Clarke asks quietly.

"It's been 8 years."

They lay there in silence for a moment before Clarke says, "And you miss them." 

A lump forms in Lexa's throat, and she can't seem to swallow properly. Quickly clearing her throat and brushing away the moisture building around her eyes, she replies slowly, trying her hardest not to give away her true feelings.

"Yes."

Clarke turns, hearing the tinge of sadness in Lexa's voice, a sound she was clearly trying to hide.

"What was your Aunt like?" 

Lexa hadn't spoken about her Aunt in years, she wasn't sure she would even be able to explain her in a way that would do her justice.

"Her name is Indra, and she was the first person who ever showed me…love, kindness. She was strong and selfless. She would stand up for me-"Lexa's mind is thrown back to the many times Indra had stood between her and her mother's hand. "When I was with her and my cousin, I felt… normal and… safe. They were my home."

Clarke's hand brushes against Lexa's, a silent show of support.

Lexa rolls her eyes, "I guess they're not really a place." 

"Home isn't always a place."

Lexa turns and smiles, her eyes shimmering with sadness.

Clarke tells sincere green eyes all about her dream life. Lexa learned that Clarke has set out her future, she is going to graduate Polis School of the Arts and spend her days painting in a small studio apartment, surrounded by books and good sunlight.

The girls take no notice as the sky starts to darken around them, it's not until a tone sounds from Clarke's phone that she suddenly sees the time.

"Crap! It's my dad, I forgot to tell him what time I'd be home."

"What time is it?" Lexa asks a small amount of panic rising in her chest.

"It's almost 6:30." 

Lexa feels her whole face flush hot, she was going to have to come up with a very good excuse as to why she had been so long. She stood from where she and Clarke had found themselves crossed legged and facing each other. Clarke notices the fear in Lexa's face and quickly begins shoving the speaker and phone back in her bag.

"Come on, let's go!"

The girls begin running out of the forest, in minutes they are back on the farm and standing at the large oak, doubled over, sucking in large breaths and smiling.

Lexa is surprised when Clarke pulls the brunette in for a tight embrace before letting go and jumping the fence. Disappearing from view.

Lexa's house comes into view, and at that moment she makes a split decision, committing to the idea she starts climbing the fence on the patio and up the drainpipe that leads to her bedroom window. She takes each step carefully, making sure not to make a sound, her heart pounding loudly in her ears her eyes feel swollen like they are going to burst from their sockets.

Lexa reaches for her window and using muscles she didn't know she had slid the window up while holding the pipe. Lexa pulls herself quietly through the window. She steps off her reading nook and lands lightly on the floor of her bedroom.

Lexa doesn't stop the smile that spreads across her face. This might just work. The idea is flung from her mind when she hears footsteps coming up the stairs.

Lexa quickly wraps the blanket around her body and picks the bible up off the bedside table and sits casually on her nook moments before the door to her bedroom bursts open.

"Alexandria…?" Her mother's frown falters, eyebrows flung together in confusion.

Lexa thankfully hides her amused grin, brought upon by her mother's utter bewilderment.

"Where have you been?" Nia asks, her hands dropped to her sides.

"I've been here," Lexa states slowly. "I came inside a little over an hour ago, but I couldn't find you or father. So I came upstairs to study."

Although Lexa's mother is quite obviously puzzled, she doesn't dwell on it. Instead, she turns and begins to walk towards the door. 

"You are required to help with dinner, come now." 

"All right mother, ill be right down."

When Lexa's mother disappears, and her footsteps can be heard descending the stairs, it takes every ounce of her self-control not to jump up and down with excitement. Lexa is astounded that it had worked.

Lexa peels potatoes that evening, all the while daydreaming about her perfect afternoon.


	6. Radio Waves

Lexa is out watering the roses when her mother joins her on the patio.

"Your father and I are going into town. While we are gone, you will not leave this house. Do you understand?" 

Lexa lets the remainder of the watering can drip before answering. "Yes, mother. I understand." 

Her mother straightens, "We will be no more than two hours. Your father has a meeting with the Chancellor."

"I will be here when you return," Lexa responds. Thanking the sky that she was not made to attend. Nia nods and turns on her heel, heading back inside. Lexa makes a show of refilling her watering can while her parents are pulling out the driveway.

As the truck disappears from view, Lexa looks around making sure no one is watching. Even though her parents aren't home, the people from the church that work on the farm have no loyalty to her. Only her parents. If they saw Lexa running away from the homestead, they would not hesitate to tell her parents.

With no one watching Lexa slips into the tall grass, it brushes against her cheek and itches her legs in the most fantastic way. The sun dances on her face as she runs free in the field, breathing in the air. Lexa often dreams of a life she knows she will never have. She dreams of living in a small place, with large windows she can watch the sunset through. Her daydreams though peaceful, used to be lonely. Lately, however, there had been someone sitting next to her. In all of her dreams, Lexa is seated beside a stunning woman, blonde hair dancing in the wind. Clarke's smile radiating lighter then a sun dropping below the horizon. In her daydreams, Lexa is happy, content. Even though she knows her life will never look like that it doesn't stop her imagining it.

The tree looks taller today, it smells of winter air and grass. Clarke isn't here today. Lexa had hoped she would be, but unlike Lexa, Clarke actually had other friends to spend time with.

"You look awfully lost in thought there Lex." A melodic voice sounds from behind. A heat unknown to the brunette rises up her neck and taps at her cheekbones. She turns and smiles, head dipping low, trying to hide her no doubt crimson cheeks.

"What were you thinking about?" Clarke asks as she climbs the first limb on the tree.

"…Nothing in particular." Lexa says, smiling as Clarke swings to the next branch. Sitting on the branch, she had jumped down from the first day they met.

"One day I'm going to crack that shell Lex, and you're going to tell me all your secrets." Clarke smiles mischievously.

"You don't want to know my secrets, I assure you." Lexa moves towards the tree herself. Climbing the first limb on her side of the fence, pulling herself up she finds herself at Clarke's eye level. Their faces inches apart.

Clarke's voice is raspy when she says, "I want to know everything about you."

Lexa's next breath gets caught in her throat. With her stomach tied in knots, she continues to climb the tree, resting on a branch neighbouring to Clarke's. She takes a deep breath, "What do you want to know?"

Clarke is already ready with her question. "What does your room look like?"

"My room… It has white walls, and a bed, and a little window with cushions I sit in to read stories."

"Do you have any pictures on the wall?" Clarke asks while she moves to sit on the same branch as Lexa.

"No, no pictures. I have a cross hanging on the wall." Lexa says.

Clarke nods, another question popping into her mind. "Did you put that there?"

"No, my father did." Lexa is smiling at Clarke's enthusiasm.

"So… Do you believe in god?" Clarke asks the question as if it has no weight. As if, no matter her answer, she wouldn't mind. She had been asked questions of this kind her whole life, though every other time she had been asked it seemed as if her very life depended on the answer.

"No." Lexa lets go of a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"Wow, that must be so hard."

"Sometimes, I feel like I'm living a lie." Lexa feels a hand entwined with her own.

"So what is your truth?" Clarke asks

Lexa thinks about the question, not fully understanding it she asks "My truth…?" 

"The life you want to lead, the person you want to be?"

Lexa had dreamt of a different life, she sometimes felt her imagination was the only thing that kept her sane at times.

"Sometimes, I sit and think about what I could be or what kind of life I could live. It isn't possible, though. I can't escape."

Clarke squeezes the hand she still has resting in Lexa's "If you ever want to escape, consider me your getaway driver." 

Warmth spreads in Lexa's chest.

Clarke turns to face Lexa, "What time do you have to leave today?"

"I should probably leave now, my parents are only out for a short time today." Lexa moves to climb down the tree.

"Okay," Clarke looks crestfallen. "-Hey, wait." Lexa's eyes are captured in blue. Clarke battles with her nerves as she moves towards Lexa, lightly touching her lips to Lexa's cheek. "I mean it, I'll be in the driver seat."

Lexa opens and closes her mouth, she is unable to speak, unable to tie one thought to the next.

Lexa is surprised when her feet touch the ground. Not sure how her shaky legs managed to climb safely down the tree.

"I know you don't have a mobile phone, and something tells me you don't want me calling the house phone." Clarke moves closer to the brunette.

Lexa looks up to Clarke her mind coming out of a deep fog. Clarke climbs down the tree to stand in front of Lexa. -"I bought us these, so we can talk whenever." Clarke smiles to herself at the idea. Placing a walkie talkie radio in Lexa's hand.

"What is this?" Holding up the peculiar device.

"It's called a walkie talkie. Soo…-" Clarke fiddles with the dial on the top setting the number on top to 24 then taking a few steps back she moves her mouth up the receiver, "Copy Lexa, do you copy?"

Lexa's eyes grow wide as the sound of Clarke's voice comes through the speaker as she sees Clarke's lips moving.

"So press the big orange button on the side in, hold it down and speak."

Lexa looks at the orange button pressing it in and holding it down as Clarke had instructed "Hello?"

It works, Clarke smiles and puts her thumbs up.

"So now, when you're home and bored you can just click that button in, and I'll answer. Well... Perhaps not all the time, if I'm there I'll answer, if I'm at school i'll have to turn it off, it also wouldn't travel that far I don't think." Clarke says with a shrug.

"Wow. Clarke, this is amazing!" Lexa green eyes sparkle with delight, her mind racing with the possibility of being able to talk to Clarke whenever.

"It's kind of cool. Will you use it?" Clarke asks a sliver of uncertainty coming through in her tone.

"Of course. I hope I can remember how to use it."

"So I know this could get you in trouble, when your parents are around, just turn this dial until it clicks like this." Clarke turns the dial until a small clicking sound occurs. "To turn it back on just go the opposite direction." Clarke continues to explain small things about the device until she is confident Lexa won't get in trouble from it being too loud or if she is unable to turn it off.

They say goodbye, Clarke surprises Lexa again by pulling her into her arms and squeezing. The feeling still foreign to Lexa.

Lexa is almost home when the radio sparks to life. 

"Copy Lexa," Lexa smiles and clicks the button to reply.

"Copy Clarke."

Clarke's voice rings through the speaker again. "Just testing you." 

Lexa laughs. "Did I pass?"

"You sure did. See you, Lex."

Lexa smiles gently to herself before replying "Goodbye, Clarke."

It has been an hour since her mother had come to tell her lights out. 

The brunette lays her hair splayed out over her pillow.

There is a pull in her stomach, and her thoughts turn to Clarke.

Over the fence in a room full of drawings and smiling photographs, Clarke lays with the small radio on her chest. Waiting for the brunette that invaded her every thought to contact her. 

As if she willed it into reality, a small crackling noise sounds from the speaker of the radio.

"Clarke…" Clarke's heart jump starts, and she sits up cradling the radio in her two hands. Holding in the orange button, she replies.

"Lex, hey." After a moment, Lexa's voice comes through the speaker again.

"Wow, this is amazing," Lexa replies. Clarke can't help but smile at Lexa's amazement.

"Are you in bed?" Clarke asks.

"Yes, I have to be quiet. My parents are just down the hall. What are you doing?"

Clarke smiles, holding down the orange button to reply "Same here. Are you tired?" 

"No…" Lexa replies in a whisper.

Clarke smiles, "You want to talk?" 

"I think so."

"What are you thinking about?" Clarke asks.

"Life… It's strange, isn't it?"

Clarke settles down on her pillows, closing her eyes. Imagining Lexa is right next to her. "It sure is. What is strange in your life?"

Over the fence, Lexa smiles at the question. She wanted so desperately to answer her. To tell Clarke everything about her life. It tugged at her like a young child on her sleeve. Clarke made her feel safe and secure. She made her feel as though she could tell her anything.

Lexa had obviously taken too long to answer because Clarke's voice sounds through the speaker again.

"Lexa, are you there?"

"I'm here."

"So am I Lex. I'm here. I see you struggling. I guess I just want you to know that I'm here. Anything you have to say is valid, and I want to hear it. Just know that."

As if a switch had gone on, Lexa began.

She told Clarke about her Aunty and her cousin, everything about them. How they brought her joy she had never known, the love she was never shown.

She told Clarke about her mother's tyranny and abuse.

She told Clarke about the church she went to and the rules of her parent's religion.

She told Clarke about Octavia and how they had planned to escape and the consequential abuse and starvation.

When she was finished her thumb ached from holding the button in, her eyes were blurry, and her chest ached.

Wiping away the tears that now stained her pillow cover. She lets go of the button. Waiting for Clarke to reply. But she doesn't. There is silence. It is deafening.

Lexa is sure she is hearing things when she hears the rustle of the tree outside her window. She sits up in bed; her eyes still blurry with tears.

The radio lights up her room in the darkness "Don't be scared, it's me."

Lexa sits up in her bed. Eyes trained on the window that is now rising from the sill.

A very quiet Clarke climbs through the window. Her eyes searching Lexa's room. To make sure she made no noise. But upon noting nothing lay on Lexa's floor, she moves towards the bed.

"What are you doing? Are you crazy?" Lexa whispers.

"Shhh…" Clarke, who is now standing at the side of the brunette's bed, slips herself under the covers. She motions for Lexa to lay down.

"What are you doing here?" Lexa asks her voice strained with worry.

"I'm just being here. That's all." Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa and pulls her in close. Their foreheads inches apart, legs tangled under the sheets.

Lexa feels Clarkes breath on her lips as she says "You are the most incredible person I have ever met."

Lexa's tears freely fall, and before they can hit her pillow, Clarke has wiped them away with the pad of her thumb.

Lexa, who is unsure how to be comforted, is guided by Clarke to rest her head on her chest and rest her arms around Clarke's waist.

"Close your eyes. You're safe."

Lexa closes her eyes and presses herself further into Clarke's embrace.

Sleep takes over the brunette in minutes. The blonde, however, lays in bed formulating a plan.

When the sun rises over the horizon, Clarke knows she has to go, in an hour her parents would be calling her down for breakfast, and Clarke now knew she did not want to be found in Lexa's room.

Clarke silently slips from Lexa's embrace.

She quickly writes a note and sits it on the radio which she hides under Lexa's pillow.

As quietly as possible Clarke exits Lexa's house and makes her way back to her own room. Where Clarke spends the next hour on her laptop researching.

"Clarke! Breakfast dear!"

"Coming!" Clarke closes the tabs and climbs down the stairs.

"Good morning, darling." Clarke's receives a kiss on the forehead and an eyebrow raise from both her parents once standing in the kitchen.

"Darling, don't take this the wrong way…but you look awful, did you get any sleep last night?"

"No… I think I'm coming down with something." Clarke takes the coffee her mother had extended to her.

"Oh no, do you think you'll be able to go to school?" Abby asks.

"I don't think so." Clarke feels terrible for lying to her parents, but sometimes small lies were needed. Besides if she stayed home, she could continue her research.

Clarke's family sits down at the dining table

"Hey dad, if I helped out on the farm could I maybe get some pocket money?"

"Why do you need pocket money?" Her dad asks curiously.

Clarke shrugs, "I'm just trying to save some money." 

Her parents exchanged a look, "What for?"

 _A bus ticket to save someones life!-_ "Nothing, a car? A house? Stuff people save money for."

"Well, I was going to start looking for someone to help with the barn," Jake says slowly.

Clarke's eyes light up, "I can do the barn stuff."

Jake chuckles. " _Barn stuff_ , that's comforting. This will be serious work, Clarke. I'm going to need it repainted by the end of Summer. Are you sure?"

"I'm totally sure!" Clarke says, sipping her coffee.

"Okay, you start when you get better." 

The whole time Clarke's mum is watching her. "Are you sure you're coming down with something or did you just stay up too late last night?"

"You saw me go to bed, mum. I didn't stay up."

Clarke's parents share a look. Her mum holds up her hands, "Okay. Well, get back to bed then Miss, i'll bring up some medicine soon."

Clarke makes a face about the medicine, it wouldn't kill her. She had to follow the lie through. She was so tired and the drug only made her more drowsy. She must have needed the sleep because Clarke wakes up that afternoon at 2 o'clock. She rolls over, checking the time on her phone, she has two missed calls from Raven and text message from Jasper. She doesn't reply, instead sits up in bed and grabs her laptop.

Typing the name Indra into the google search bar.

In seconds hundreds of results pop up. She clicks the images, there is one face that reoccurs mainly, a stern-looking face with kind eyes. 

In one photo she has her arm around a tall, beautiful woman. The names underneath are what makes Clarke's eyes light up, and her heart rate rises in her chest.

_'Indra and her daughter Anya at The Polis Art Gallery opening.'_

Clarke opens a new tab and types Indra Polis into the google search bar and up pops even more results.

_'Indra Kru Polis senator.'_

Clarke clicks the first link and follows it through until again she is looking at the same woman shaking hands with important-looking people.

Hugging smiling children and cutting oversized ribbons in front of large buildings.

Up to the very top of the page, the words _'Contact_ _Information.'_

Clarke bites at her bottom lip. 

Closes the lid of her laptop and pushes it away.

Clarke feels overwhelmed, had she just found the very people Lexa needed. The very people that would give Lexa the family she so desperately deserved.

All Clarke needed was to get Lexa to Polis. 

The thought sparked joy in Clarke. She could do this. It would only be a month or so of working on the farm, and she would have enough money to get Lexa out. A month, that's all she needed.

The month passed by in sweat and frustration, for the most part. Clarke had spent every spare afternoon either working in the barn or meeting with Lexa. Every fibre of her being wanted to be spending time with the tall brunette but she also had to save the money to get Lexa the first possible ticket to Polis. That is if all went to plan.

It is the middle of Summer, and the state is experiencing a heatwave.

Clarke's dad had given her the afternoon off to go to the lake instead of finishing off the barn. 

Clarke races to her room and retrieves her walkie talkie.

She presses the button in and let's go. It had become her way of letting Lexa know she needed to talk.

Lexa puts her book down, her ears tailored to the crackle of the radio.

Lexa stands up and walks to her bedroom door. She peers out, looking up and down the hall. Then darts back in her room, moving towards the drawer she keeps the radio in.

"Clarke?" Lexa quietly says into the receiver.

Clarke's voice comes through the speaker in an excited whisper. "Lex! Hey! I've got the afternoon off."

Lexa's heart rate picks up at the thought of an afternoon with Clarke, she had been so busy on the farm the last few weeks they hadn't spent nearly as much time together. Lexa stares at the ceiling as she replies. "I don't think I can get out of the house." 

"That's okay, i'll be down there all day. Meet me there if you can."

"I'll try," Lexa replies in a whisper.

Lexa quietly steps down the staircase.

The familiar shrill voice comes from the lounge room. "Alexandria, is that you?"

Lexa rolls her eyes. _Who else would it be? -_ "Yes." 

"Bring me a glass water." Lexa rolls her eyes and starts towards the kitchen, she fills a glass up from the jug in the fridge and then heads back towards the lounge where her mother sits waving a fan at her face.

Lexa is halfway towards her mother when her sandal catches on a tile, and she trips half the glass of water spilling on the floor.

Her mother stares at her, her face turning a deep shade of scarlet.

"You stupid girl! Clean it up!"

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to" Lexa turns back to the kitchen to retrieve a cloth she mops up the spilt water, her head down not daring to look at her mother.

Nia laughs mockingly "You are so horribly uncoordinated. How do you think you will ever be able to serve your husband?"

"I guess I just won't have a husband" Lexa replies just above a whisper.

"What did you just say?" Her mother's voice has taken an edge that Lexa is all too familiar with.

"Nothing," Lexa replies quietly.

"Nothing. Nothing is correct. Everything you say is nothing. You best remember that. Get out of my sight" Nia spits out as her arm is flying in the direction of the door.

Even in her fear, Lexa sees a way out and decides to feign distress at the thought of leaving "It's so hot outside mother, please?"

Her mother sneers. "Get out!"


	7. I've Got You

Lexa turns, she lays the cloth in its place, empties the glass and sits it on the rack to dry. Wanting to at least limit her mother's ammunition.

Lexa walks to the door and steps out into the wall of heat. Before she has even stepped off the porch, she is drenched in sweat. The walk to the lake feels a lot longer without Clarke by her side.

She climbs over the fence and begins the short walk through the woods.

It is so quiet here, yet so full of life. There is a slight breeze amongst the trees, and the air feels fresher. Lexa takes a deep breath and follows the sound of bubbling water.

If the lake was magical the first time she saw it, then this time it was something beyond that. 

The trees were exactly as they were, the rocks were exactly as they were and yet with Clarke standing in the centre of the lake in only her underwear the whole forest takes on a completely different atmosphere.

If this forest was a kingdom, Clarke was The Queen.

Lexa stands, feet rooted to the spot.

Clarke turns to the sound of a twig breaking under Lexa's weight.

"Lex! You made it!" 

Lexa doesn't move, Clarke's brows furrow. "Are you okay?"

Lexa daze is broken by Clarke's worry.

"Oh, yes, I'm good. Good great. Great."

"Are you sure? You look a little flushed." Clarke's smiles a little knowingly.

Lexa looks down at her feet "Um well. Yes. Well, it is hot."

Clarke laughs and dips below the surface, resurfacing her hair smoothed and out of her face. "True. Well! Get in!"

"I don't own a swimming costume, I'm fine just sitting here." Lexa gestures to the rocks by the stream.

"I'm not fine with that, come on. You can come in fully clothed or with nothing at all, I don't mind." Clarke shrugs and quietly thinks to herself she actually would love the latter. 

Clarke starts wading through the water towards the brunette who is still frozen on the shore. 

Clarke steps out of the lake, climbing over the rocks that lay on the edge of the water.

Lexa tries her hardest to avert her eyes but can't seem to take her eyes of the goddess that is walking towards her. Her green eyes trail over Clarkes figure. The small droplets drip from the tips of the hair down her neck and over the curve of her breasts. The dappled light filtering through the tree causes the sun to hit Clarke's eyes in a way that makes them sparkle.

"Please, it's so hot. You can't sit out here all day." 

Lexa swallows, forcing the saliva gathering in her mouth down her throat.

It takes a few moments, but Lexa's dress gathers around her ankles. Her sandals kicked off shortly after.

It was now Clarke's turn to shiver. She tries as Lexa had to turn away but couldn't seem to force her eyes in the other direction. Lexa stands in a white bra and underwear. A small bow just noticeable in the centre of the elastic hugging her hips.

Lexa moves to cover her body, the scars and yellowing bruises littered over her arms and stomach but Clarke takes her hand and leads her into the water.

The water rushes over her toes and envelops her legs, the lake's temperature is perfect. It wraps around Lexa like nothing she had ever known. 

Lexa doesn't go too deep, allowing the souls of her feet to remain on the soft sediment beneath.

Clarke swims in circles around Lexa, she moves closer and closer until her legs are touching Lexa's waist. The softness causing Lexa's temperature to rise until it felt like if the lake were made of ice, it wouldn't be cold enough.

Clarke would then follow the same path but outwards further and further away.

Lexa giggles at Clarke "Aren't you getting dizzy?" 

Clarke nods. She keeps going, around and around in circles.

"Stop you're going to make yourself sick" It was Clarkes turn to giggle, continuing her path.

Lexa laughs at Clarke silliness, she begins moving towards the blonde, her feet sinking into the soft ground. She grabs her shoulders lightly, "Stop, you're making me dizzy!" 

Clarke doesn't miss the way Lexa becomes nervous, as though she revealed too much. The double meaning of what Lexa said not escaping either of them.

"What is?" Clarke asks.

" _You_ … Going around in circles." Clarke moves closer to the brunette, she reaches down under the water and slips her hands in Lexa's. Her eyes dart from Lexa bright green eyes to her lips. 

"I'm making you dizzy?" Lexa nods dipping down to where Clarke's eyes gaze at her own.

There is silence everywhere, it is as if the birds and insects cease movement, cease creating song. Just to allow the teenagers a moment to themselves. Lexa's mind went blank as soon as Clarke's lips lightly touched her own. It was delicate, soft and on fire. The kind of fire that could burn a forest to the ground.

When Romeo kissed Juliet, he referred to Juliet's lips as a holy shrine for his own lips to worship. Clarke was more than a holy shrine, she was the whole temple and the goddesses they worshipped.

The blonde moves her hand from beneath the water to get lost in Lexa's hair. Wrapping her other arm around Lexa's waist. Pulling Lexa tight against her body, skin on skin.

Lexa's hands float by her sides, her fingers tingle. Hesitant to reach out.

Their lips slow and unsure. 

In a moment of bravery, Lexa reaches out and places her hand on the small of Clarkes back. It elicits the most modest of moans from Clarke who breaks away. Searching Lexa's eyes for any sign of uncertainty. Finding none, she closes the gap once again. Floating in this enchanted forest surrounded by tall pines, animals of all sizes and the most lovely girl she had ever laid eyes on, Lexa is sure she has found her fairytale.

The rest of the day is spent exploring the forest. The music rising into the treetops from Clarke's speaker set on a rock by the edge of the lake.

The girls tug each other through open meadows and kiss against tall trees, small scratches from the bark marking their shoulder blades.

The day draws to an end, and Lexa knows it's time to head back.

Clarke motions for Lexa to climb on her back, she piggybacks Lexa all the way to the border of the forest and Clarkes farm. The girls share their last kiss at the edge of the forest treasuring the final moments of a perfect day.

"Bye."

"Bye."

Clarke watches Lexa disappear amongst the tall grass, the only thing still visible was her long hair trailing behind her. She turns and sends one last smile in Clarke's direction.

It causes the heart of the blonde to leap.

Clarke spends the whole way home thinking of Lexa's lips on hers and the way her hand had so tentatively found its way to her lower back.

Clarke had almost memorized the number by now but had never clicked the button to connect. 

Today was the day.

"Hello, my name is Clarke Griffin, and I would like to be put through to the senator." 

The person on the other end is accommodating and puts Clarke through to Indra's less helpful secretary.

"Hello Clarke, as I'm sure you're aware Indra is a very busy woman."

"I understand that but this is a family matter, and it is super important." Clarke is almost pleading at this point.

"I'm very sorry, but unless it is scheduled, I can't help you." The woman says with finality.

"Please just tell her that Lexa needs her help, please. You have no idea how important this is." Clarke knows how she sounds, but she is unable to keep the desperation from her tone.

The line goes quiet and just when Clarke thinks she's been hung up on an assertive voice comes through the speaker.

"Who is this? How do you know Lexa?" 

Clarke can only assume this is Indra, "Hello, my name is Clarke, Clarke Griffin. I live next door to your niece." 

"The Griffin Corn Farm... I remember your father. A very kind man." Indra replies.

"He is, thank you. I've called because I think you know Lexa." 

"I do." Indra's voice is controlled and tentative.

Clarke spends the next hour telling Indra everything Lexa had told her. She feels she is breaking Lexa's trust in some way by sharing her story but pushes away the feeling. Knowing she was doing the right thing.

Together Clarke and Indra plan Lexa's escape.

The hay in the barn feels soft and slightly itchy under her cotton dress. She couldn't face sitting inside with her mother after what had happened that morning.

Words flow through her pencil and onto the pages of her journal.

She isn't truly aware of what she is writing, images of blonde curls, soft hips and beauty spots flood through her mind.

The latch to the barn door opens.

"Alexandria. Stop hiding. Inside now!" 

Lexa's heart shoots to her throat, she tries to force a reply. Her voice comes out strangled and weak. The journal she held like acid in her hands. Flustered she quickly stuffs it under the hay bale she was perched on. 

Lexa dreaded the thought of what her mother would do if she read the contents of this book.

Eyes to the floor as she exits the barn. Watching the souls of her mother's shoes rise and fall in front of her.

That night Lexa is made to clean the entire house with a toothbrush and bleach. By the time the sun rises, her arms are on fire, eyes blurred and nostrils numb. Collapsing into bed, exhausted.

When Lexa is awoken an hour later by a shrill voice coming from downstairs.

She drags herself out of bed and all but stumbles the whole way down the stairs.

Her mother stands, apron tightly wrapped around her waist her face contorted in a look of pure rage.

Pulling a navy blue book from behind her back, her tone a hiss "What is this?"

Lexa mind goes numb, like a vignette around her vision.

"That's not mine." She says quickly. Lexa winces as her mother opens the book and flips to the last page _. "There has to be more than this, I may never escape. I am tethered to this farm like a wild horse to the arm of a breaker, and her lips are the knife that will cut me free."_ Her mother closes the book with a snap. "-Disgusting. You would write this with the hand you hold the holy book with. You are nauseating, I can hardly look at you to say this." Nia towers over Lexa who is slightly cowering in the corner of the kitchen her mother has backed her into. Familiar darkness takes its hold.

It had been days since she had heard from her.

At first Clarke's only worry was that maybe Lexa regretted their afternoon together. But it quickly turned towards fear for Lexa's safety. 

_Four days._

Anything could have happened in four days.

Tightly gripping the radio, her thumb hovering over the orange button. 

Wishing for the screen to light up. 

Instead, her phone on her bedside lights up.

_'Indra'_

Hastily she answers. "Indra!"

"Hello Clarke, I just wanted to call and see how Lexa is doing?"

Clarke breathes deeply. "That's just the thing, I don't know."

"What do you mean?" Indra's tone is full of worry.

"I haven't heard from her in days. four days." 

"Four days. That's too long for my comfort. I'm going to call the police to do a welfare check" Indra says, sounding distressed.

"No, that will cause too much chaos. Lexa wouldn't want that." Clarke quickly replies.

Clarke can hear Indra becoming distressed "There is no other way Clarke. You can't approach that house alone." 

Clarke is silent, mulling over her options. The blonde is already up and grabbing her torch and jacket. 

"Clarke." Indra's tone takes an edge of warning.

"You have nothing to worry about," Clarke says, hiding her true intentions.

"Mhmm. Well, I'm going to go and call the sheriff's department."

"Okay. Great. Yep! Bye." Clarke's leg already swung out her window.

Hanging up, she pushes her phone into her pocket and jumps onto the grass beneath her window.

The walk to Lexa's house feels long tonight.

There are no lights on, the house looks haunted. As though demons reside within. Clarke decided that demons did. 

Crouching low as she made her way past the windows, she finally comes to the grass below Lexa's window. Taking the same steps she had a few nights ago, she is out of breath by the time she reaches the window sill.

The lights are off. The room bare as usual. It is absent of Lexa. The bed empty. She opens the window inch by inch, as quiet as humanly possible.

She silently crosses the room and begins searching Lexa's drawers. They have a few pieces of paper and one radio. Set to the lowest volume.

Stomach in knots she climbs back down the pipe.

Before she hits the ground, she can hear the sound of gravel crunching.

Leaping down from the pipe, the impact shooting pain through the souls of her feet. Crouching down behind the very bush she did the first night she visited Lexa's window. 

Clarke hears the sound of knuckles connecting with the wood on the front door as she creeps along the grass, her heart racing. She peeks through the porch bars, still hidden behind a bush.

A nasty-looking woman is standing at the door in moments her arms crossed. "Officer."

The tall police officer removes his brown hat and rests it on his chest. "I'm so sorry to wake you. I know it's very late."

Nia response is curt. "It is, what can I do for you?" 

"We have been told Alexandria requires a welfare check."

"My Alexandria?" Her tone growing impatient.

"Yes Ma'm, we again are very sorry." The two officers look at each other.

"I'll go get her then I suppose." She turns and is gone for a minute.

Clarke's heart is floating in her chest, her mind like a mantra. _She's okay. She's okay._

The mantra dies. Halted and thrown to the wasteland.

Lexa is all but dragged through the door.

The light is completely gone from her eyes. Her lips are cracked, and her eyes sunken. Her hair is far from the raging ocean of curls it has been turned into a flat, lifeless mangrove. Dirty and lacking existence. 

Clarke has to cover her mouth, so she doesn't let a strangled sob escape.

"Here, she is. Well and taken care of. You can leave now" Nia says without any option for argument.

"We can see that mam, thank you. Sorry for disturbing you. We will see you at the service on Sunday."

"See you then. We will be discussing this further then."

As soon as the officers have returned to their cars and driven out of the driveway, Lexa is shoved back inside. Out of Clarke's view yet again.

Clarke hides in the bushes until she hears the slam of a door, she crouches low again as she walks around the old farmhouse until she spots a small rectangular window below the house, Clarke recognizes it as basement window. She wipes away at the dust on the glass. Cupping her hands and peers inside.

She sees a figure curled in a ball, her heart shatters in her chest.

She slightly opens the window, peering inside. 

Lexa turns at the sound, she isn't strong enough to pick herself up off the floor the latest events draining her of all her energy.

Shakey hands slide a cracked window until cobwebs are broken. Blue eyes scan their surroundings, ensuring no one is watching on.

When Clarke is comfortable that she has no followers, she begins sliding the window until it is fully open.

She gets down until she is laying flat on her stomach, slowly and surely, aware of every hair on her body. Clarke begins to slide through the window. Once her feet find something solid to steady themselves on and without making a sound, she steps down onto the slightly moulding earth of the Woods basement and tiptoes towards the figure curled on the floor.

Her pulse feels like a sledgehammer connecting with her nerves.

The blonde takes a deep breath in through her nose, grounding herself.

She has no other choice. There is no alternative. She must save her. In no other universe is she going to find another like Lexa, she is smart and resilient. She has shown Clarke kindness and warmth, even though she had so much dullness in her own life. She gave light to Clarke that she could have saved for herself. But Lexa wouldn't know how to be selfish, she would give the clothes of her own back if it meant another didn't have to go cold. 

Clarke feels a sense of purpose and knows her mission will succeed because it must.

Clarke is almost crouching in front of Lexa when she hears footsteps overhead, looking up she sees the light and shadows and the small flecks of dust falling from the floorboards.

Shit.

Clarke pulls out the flashlight on her phone and casts it around the room. She spots an old piano and quickly moves to hide behind it, the light flicks on just as Clarke pulls her sneaker from view.

Clarke dares not look around the piano for fear, she will be spotted. Whoever has just come down those steps, they shouldn't know she is there.

"How dramatic. Police. I wonder how they knew of the state you have put yourself in. Perhaps your disgusting little friend from next door decided she would try to save you...-" There is silence, and Clarke's eyes fly open. Triple checking she is entirely hidden.

The same monotone voice continues -"You can't be saved. You are filth. I know it, your father knows it, Jaha knows it. You will never be welcomed into God's kingdom. You don't deserve love. Especially not God's love. You can stay here and rot."

Clarke feels every syllable spoken like a hot poker to the heart.

Lexa makes no noise, no movement. Just lays silently on the floor. Drifting in and out of consciousness. Wishing she would just drift out and never come back.

Clarke hears the woman walking away, the room is plunged into semi-darkness, the only light coming from the cracks in the floorboards. 

Clarke moves towards Lexa, she has to be quick who knows when that evil woman will return for round two.

"Lexa..."

At the sound of Clarke's voice, Lexa's eyes open, her lids are heavy and slowly close again.

A small smile playing on her lips. "I made it."

Clarke looks around the room, confusion etched on her features "Made it where Lex?" 

"She said he wouldn't want me... but I made it." A soft smile forms on her chapped lips.

"Lex we have to go-"

"I knew you were an angel..." Lexa continues talking almost as though she wasn't fully comprehending the words Clarke was saying.

Clarke can see she isn't getting anywhere. 

"Okay we have to be super quiet, you understand. Quiet. Okay?"

Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa's frail figure and scoops her up.

She is so light, Clarke can't believe this is the same girl she carried on her back not even a week ago.

Clarke feels a tear spillover, it lands with an audible splash on Lexa's shoulder, and she has to breathe deep to keep herself from crumbling.

"Lexa, we almost there but I need you to stand on this ledge here can you do that?"

Lexa looks between the workbench and Clarke's wide eyes. Clarke sees the exact moment Lexa understands, her pupils dilate, and Clarke has to hold Lexa to stop her moving away.

"Lexa, no. Stop." She grips her as tight as she can, hoping she doesn't break her.

"Clarke... No... No... You were safe. Why did you come here?" Tears begin forming in Lexa's now faded green eyes.

Clarke grabs Lexa's face pulling her close to her own. Clarke can feel Lexa's erratic breathe on her nose. "Lexa, please be quiet." 

Lexa closes her mouth and looks around the room. "Where did she go?" 

"She's gone, but I don't know for how long, please let me help you." Clarke pleads.

Lexa shakes her head "I can't ask this of you."

"You're not, I'm telling you." Clarke's eyes plead with Lexa. -"Please, Lexa let me take you away from here."

Maybe if Lexa had eaten in the last four days. Maybe if she had drunk more water then what trickled from the pipe under the stairs. Maybe if she hadn't been, pushed, slapped and burned. If all that weren't true Lexa would have told Clarke to run and never look back. Maybe she would have more fight, to save Clarke from this hell she lived.

But those things happened, and Lexa was tired, she wanted to be anywhere but here. She wanted to be wherever Clarke wanted to take her.

Clarke made her feel like she deserved kindness, that she deserved love.

Clarke was the lightness in an otherwise diluted bleak existence. Even if Lexa was the strongest she could be, she doesn't believe she would be able to refuse running away with her.

Lexa puts her foot delicately on the edge of the bench, Clarke standing beside her all the while ensuring she is quiet and steady.

Lexa weakly reaches for the edge of the window, her balance gives way, and her fingers slip from the lip of the window. Clarke grabs and balances her.

"It's okay, you can do this. Only a bit further" Clarke assures.

Lexa nods, reaching again. This time getting a good grip on the window.

With Clarke's assistance, Lexa pulls herself out of the window. 

Lexa peers down at Clarke, a feeling of dread seeing this beautiful girl in that haunted room.

"Quickly…" Lexa says, holding out her hand, trying her hardest to speed along this nightmare.

"I'm coming, go hide in those bushes" Clarke tries her best to reassure those worried green eyes.

Lexa crawls over and hides in the garden, cringing at the sound of snapping bark under her feet.

The feeling of hunger had long since disappeared, it usually did after a couple of days. The sickness was what made her weak, how hard it became to open her eyes, how slow everything seemed to be moving. 

Moments later Lexa sees a small hand grip the grass just outside the basement's small window.

Clarke approaches Lexa. Wrapping her arms softly around her.

"I missed you." Clarke whispers

"I missed you too." The brunette says in an almost identical tone. Exhaustion is the only difference.

"Let's get you away from here," Clarke says, she looks at Lexa her eyes shining with fear and anticipation.

Clarke stands, helping Lexa to her feet. Clarke watches the house. Waiting for the lights in the window of the kitchen to turn out before she hooks her arm under Lexa's and they begin the walk back to Clarke's house.

Her feet feel heavy, her thoughts like bubbles bursting before she can catch them. She is in disbelief that Clarke is here, that her warmth is pressed up against her side. Her eyes begin to close, and she can feel herself falling, but before she can even fumble or lose footing, a hand grips tighter around her waist and pulls her closer. 

"I've got you" A steady voice whispers in her ear.


	8. Unexpected Company

Lexa opens her eyes as they are making their way through the fence bordering their families land. 

"We're almost there, not much longer," Clarke says, her voice laboured now, her breathing heavy. Tired from the journey through the long grass with the heavy weight of the brunette on her shoulders, both physically and mentally.

Clarke would be lying if she said she had a plan, she would be lying if she said she wasn't scared. She was petrified. Lexa's mother and father were the most haunted and fearful people she had ever laid eyes on. When Lexa ever spoke about them, the stories left Lexa and herself a little shaken.

Clarke had no idea what she was going to tell her family, she just hoped that they would trust her. 

Clarke turns the knob on her front door, she is not quiet, and her Dad comes running down the stairs.

"Who's there?" Jake yells, he falters. Taking a deep breath. "...Clarke?"

"Dad, help." Clarke pleads, Jake crosses the distance lifting Lexa into his arms and walking her towards the couch.

"What have, Clarke…who is this? Is this?... Clarke." The realisation hits Jake, and his eyes shine with fear. 

Just then Clarke's Mum comes down the stairs wrapping the rope to her robe around her waist. Her eyes wide, taking in the scene before her. 

"Clarke, what have you done?"

"She needs us mum, I couldn't leave her like that." Clarke's emotions threaten to spill over. "She needs us, please." Her voice sounding brittle.

Abby seems to be taking a moment to think things over. Before she straightens and closes the distance between herself and the frail figure on the couch.

"Jake get me some towels, and Clarke get some warm water from the kitchen." Abby bends down, so she is face to face with the girl on the couch.

"Lexa, darling. Can you open your eyes…"

Lexa struggles, but Abby is met with dull green eyes. Eyes she remembered as a child being a startling emerald colour. They now looked like they had all of the happiness drained from them.

"Hi there, can you tell me what happened?" Abby asks quietly.

"I…just feel tired," Lexa says, her voice broken.

Clarke comes rushing back into the room with a bowl of warm water. Abby takes the bowl and rests it next to her. Taking the towels from Jake and dipping one into the water, draining it and bringing it up to Lexa's face.

Cleaning the small wound on her cheekbone. A mark Clarke hadn't even noticed in her haste.

Clarke sits at the end of the couch and pulls Lexa's feet onto her lap.

"What can we do mum?"

"She may need to see a doctor, Clarke, I don't think there is much we can do here." 

Clarke panics and tells her mum in a shaky voice, "We can't take her to a doctor. You know that they will just call her parents."

"Are they who did this to you, Lexa?"

Lexa who's eyes are now closed again doesn't respond.

"Lexa sweetie, I know it's hard, but you need to keep your eyes open. Who did this to you?"

Lexa is silent. Her eyes plead with Clarke.

"I was there, Mum, I saw her."

"You saw Nia do this?" Abby's face contorts, a mixture of sadness and rage.

"... I heard her…Mum, she's…" Clarke brushes the hair from her face, crosses her arms and shuffles her feet in closer together.

"I know Clarke," Abby finishes, her eyes moving back to Lexa. She understands. She had been dealing with Lexa's family for a long time and appreciates the frustration and anger her daughter is going through.

"We're going to focus on Lexa getting better for now." 

Clarke sits by Lexa's side, helping her sip water and electrolytes. Lexa won't be able to eat full meals for days. Her body has been without food for too long, and her body craves the minerals, not food. 

Clarke is scared, she feels so many emotions right now, and she needs Lexa's smile and her shining attitude on life. If Lexa were here right now, she would tell her that everything was going to be all right and not to worry because together they could conquer anything. Even though these words don't come from Lexa herself, Clarke takes comfort in them. 

"We can do this Lex. I just need you to fight this." Clarke whispers.

Abby approaches Clarke, she is about to recommend her daughter head to bed. She thinks better of it. Instead, she helps Jake move the spare mattress from the spare room onto the lounge room floor and sets up a comfortable place for Clarke to sleep. Abby and Jake make each other a coffee realising the household won't be getting any rest tonight.

Clarke hears the roosters crow and watches the sunrise, as it tints the walls in an orange-hued haze. She gazes upon Lexa, as she lays there, her eyes closed. Clarke has counted and recounted the eyelashes that rest above Lexa's cheeks and could draw Lexa's lips from memory. 

As she ran her eyes over Lexa's face once more, she allowed her thoughts to roam. _What if Lexa's parents saw them? What if they called the police on them? Could Clarke have put her parents in the middle of something they didn't deserve…?_

Clarke feels a firm hand on her shoulder. She doesn't need to turn around to know it's her father.

"Clarke, honey. I know you want to look after Lexa, but I think its time you get some rest."

"I can't dad, I can't have her disappear again."

"We won't let that happen. Your mum is going to help Lexa into the bath so she can get comfortable. I think while she does that you should get some shut-eye. You'll be more helpful with a little bit of rest."

Clarke considers this, she wanted to be as ready as possible for anything. 

"Okay… I'll go get some rest." Clarke gives her Dad a smile. Before turning to Lexa. 

"Hey Lex, my mum is going to help you get cleaned up. Do you think you're ready for that"

Lexa opens her eyes for the first time in hours, and a slight smile plays on her lips. Which Clarke notices have a bit more colour in them today. 

"I would love that."

Clarke smiles at the way Lexa in her state almost looks excited.

"Are you sure you're up for that?"

"Yeah…I would like that" Lexa's words are slow. But Clarke can hear the life in them. It gives Clarke hope.

"Okay, as long as you're sure." 

Jake scoops Lexa up in his arms and carries her upstairs. Abby follows close behind.

"Get some rest, Clarke." She says before disappearing from view.

Clarke puts her head on the pillow and closes her eyes for the first time in what feels like days. The sound of the water falling into the bath is the last thing she remembers.

Clarke wakes to the creaking floorboard on the stairs. Lexa is being helped down the stairs by her mum. She is wearing a white shirt and long pyjama bottoms. Her hair is dried and is tied into familiar braids. Braids she remembers from her own childhood. Abby helps Lexa all the way to the couch where there are fresh sheets and a pillow from the spare room.

"Thank you, Mrs Griffin."

"You're welcome, dear. I'll make you a drink, and then you can get some more rest."

Clarke stands from the bed, smiling as Lexa closes her eyes, the relief and appreciation written all over her face.

Clarke follows her mother into the kitchen. Leaning herself against the bench, she rests her hands in her chin. Abby moves around the counter and draws her sweet daughter in for a hug. The older woman trying to ease her daughter's worries with a tight embrace. Unfortunately, today, that would not be enough.

"Mum, what am I going to do?" Clarke asks, melting into her mother's touch.

"Well... As much as I would like to say she is welcome here for as long as you like. You and I both know that is not a viable option."

"I know…" Clarke breathes out shakily. Clarke had an alternative plan; however, no one but herself knew. She ached to tell Lexa, but she wasn't strong enough yet.

"Her parents are going to go looking for her, and technically we are the neighbours," Abby notes while shrugging her shoulders.

"They won't come here, they hate us." Clarke tries to reassure, even though she can hear her own tone come out flat and unsure.

Abby nods and adds "It is already morning. They are most likely already searching for her."

"How long do you think until she is ready to move or travel?"

"Oh, Clarke that's hard to tell, I'm not a doctor."

"I know but if you had to guess."

"… I would say a week. But who knows how long it will be before they come knocking. They are not shy." Abby pulls her daughter in for another hug, and whispers into her hair "Why don't you ask Lexa what she wants? I don't think she is asked very often."

Clarke nods, gives her mum another squeeze and takes Lexa's drink into the lounge room.

Lexa pulls back the blanket she is sitting under, and Clarke snuggles into her side. Lexa rests her head on Clarke's shoulder. Despite the situation, Clarke finds herself burning up. The girls sit on the couch in silence while Lexa runs her fingers over Clarke's palm.

"Hey, Lex?" Clarke asks softly.

Lexa finishes sipping her drink, humming quietly in acknowledgement. Clarke has decided it is time to tell Lexa. She may not be strong enough yet, but she has the right to know.

"I um, have something to tell you, it's good news, don't worry."

Lexa looks at Clarke, confusion buried in every line. Even after being told it is good news Lexa can't help but worry.

"After you told me about your cousin and your aunt, I wanted to see if I could find them."

"Find them? How?" Lexa's eyebrows pull together.

"Um, using the internet."

"Oh, of course… I still don't think I truly understand that." Lexa says, smiling.

"Honestly I don't think anyone does. It's okay" Clarke returns the smile.

"So…what did you find?" Lexa asks, her features guarded. 

"I found them," Clarke says, finding it hard to contain her excitement. She continues as slowly as she is able, not wanting to alarm Lexa "-They live in Polis."

"How…. I don't know…" Lexa seems lost for words, and for a moment Clarke begins to regret telling her. 

"Here, lay down," Clarke says, beginning to worry.

Lexa, despite wanting to know everything, she has an overwhelming feeling pass over her. Her vision begins tunnelling. She lays her head on the pillow, feeling like she needs another rest. 

Clarke crouches down next to her. Their faces inches apart.

"What are you feeling?" Clarke asks.

"Tired." Green eyes pour into the blue. – "I'm scared." Lexa finally admits.

"It is scary. You have every right to be scared."

Lexa is silent for a long time, her eyes open. Glassy. A single tear begins running down towards the pillow under her head. 

"Do they want to see me?"

Clarke tries to stop her own tears from falling. "More than anything. They want you to come live with them. As soon as you're ready to travel. Were getting you far away from that house."

Lexa still isn't sure if she is still laying on the basement floor and this is all some elaborate dream she had made up to ease the pain.

But when Clarke touches her arm. Staring at her with more adoration then she could create in her dreams, she accepts her reality.

"Rest now. You're safe here."

Lexa closes her eyes, succumbing to her complete exhaustion.

Clarke's eyes fly open with the sound of heavy pounding on the doors.

Abby and Jake, who had been sitting at the dining table, stare fearfully at each other before quickly placing their mugs on the table.

Abby stands, she makes a face at Clarke.

Mouthing the words ' _hide'._

Lexa who's whole body has gone into shock allows Clarke to guide her up the stairs and out of sight. 

Once they arrive in Clarke's room, Clarke ushers her in the wardrobe. Her finger to her lips "You're safe, but stay quiet. Please." Clarke closes the door, taking a deep breath she joins her father who is madly putting the sheets away, the spare mattress already lining the wall in the laundry. 

Jake moves towards the door, staring at the handle he breathes deeply before swinging the door open.

"Nia, this is unexpected."

"Jake. Yes, unexpected for me also. It seems we have a runaway. Our daughter it seems has left without warning in the middle of the night." Nia's tone isn't that of a frantic mother. Instead, it is one of a prison guard who has a rouge inmate.

"Oh, dear, that is troubling. Any idea why?" Jake asks.

"Not a clue... she is very sick. If you happen to see her. Please send her home, she is not mentally stable."

"Of course, of course... you don't need help searching for her?"

"Ohh no, she is around somewhere. Close by, I'm sure. Is your daughter home?"

"My daughter, yes, she is. Why is that?" Jake asks, trying to keep his tone light.

"May I speak with her?"

Jake hesitates, his hand squeezing the door handle to the point he isn't sure it will work thereafter. 

Jake finally concedes -"Clarke, dear, there is someone here who would like to speak to you."

Clarke appears around the corner, taking a bite of a biscuit. "Hi? I don't think we've met... Sorry, who are you?"

Nia sneers, "Clarke, I assume?"

Clarke's insides are boiling, using everything in her power she replies sweetly. "You seem to have me at a disadvantage. I don't know you."

"Ah, but you know my daughter." 

Clarke feigns confusion. She looks to her own mother and shrugs.

Nia's eyebrows furrow, clearly becoming more and more agitated. "Alexandria?! My daughter! Who because of you and your deviance has run away." Her voice gives her away, she is unstable.

Clarke doesn't batter an eyelash, takes another bite out of her biscuit. "I don't know an Alexandria, you must have me confused. Have a nice day." With that Clarke closes the door, before the door connects with the door jam in connects instead with Nia's foot. She pushes through the door, wildly knocking Clarke out of the way.

"Alexandria! Come here at once!" Her voice is booming and fearsome, it causes a trickle of fear to run down Clarke's spine.

Jake and Abby are there in a flash, eyes full of rage.

Jakes booming voice takes over Nias in an instant. "Get out of my house! I have the right to shoot trespassers on sight, if I see you on my property again, I fully intend to exercise that right."

Nia's eyes grow wide. "This isn't the last you'll hear from me."

Jake steps towards her, his face calm and his voice restrained as he says "Yes it is Nia, this is the last we ever hear from you. Do you understand?"

The crooked woman pulls herself slowly to full height, having lost a few inches under jakes stare. Turning towards the door, clearly debating whether to try the last word. Thinking better of it, she continues walking.

Abby slams the door behind her.

Lexa comes into view, she had been hiding behind the wall at the top of the stairs. Her face full of fear, she had stood from the wardrobe upon hearing her mother's screams, hesitating. Clarke's pleading eyes etched into her conscience. 'please.'

Once hearing the door slam, she pushed the door to the wardrobe open and walked to the landing before the stairs.

Clarke walks up the stairs, taking Lexa's hand and leading her into her bedroom.

Lexa is now ghostly pale. 

"Here, sit down" Clarke helps Lexa onto her bed.

"She is…"

Clarke holds Lexa's face in her hands, gently stroking her cheek. "I know. You have nothing to worry about, she doesn't know you're here. She has no idea where you are." 

Lexa nods, Clarke can see that her green eyes are growing wearier by the second.

Clarke pats the pillow placed at the top of her bed. "Why don't you lay down." 

Lexa lays her head softly on the pillow, closing her eyes. Clarke stands hesitating, not sure whether to leave Lexa to rest of watch over her. Her decision is made for her when tired brunette softly speaks. "Will you lay with me?"

"Oh… Yeah…Of course." Clarke lays behind Lexa, wrapping her arms around her waist. Trying her hardest not to disturb her.

"Tighter," Lexa says quietly.

Clarke smiles to herself, adjusting her grip.

Lexa pushes herself further in Clarke, relishing in her warmth.

"Clarke?" Lexa's voice is raspy and withered. Clarke hums in acknowledgement. 

"Thank you." The words come out broken, cracked with emotion. Clarke's blue eyes open, and fall on Lexa's braids, meticulously crafted by her own mothers loving hands. She grips Lexa tighter, whispering her personal "Thank you."

Clarke and Lexa's breathing evens out until they are both sound asleep. Worries far from their mind as they dream of ferris wheels and fairy floss.

Abby stands in the doorway to Clarke's room, her eyes glassy as she watches over the two girls sound asleep in a tight embrace.

Jake comes up behind Abby wrapping his arms around her waist. 

"What are we going to do?"

Abby turns to Jake, wrapping her arms around him. "I don't know Jake. That woman… She's…I won't send that girl back there."

"I know, I don't think I think Clarke would let that happen either way. Our daughter is…" 

"In love." Abby lifts her eyes to see Jake smiling. 

Clarke wakes, feeling the weight of a body resting along the side of her own. During sleep, Lexa's head had come to rest on Clarke's chest. A soft smile forms on her lips. 

As she laid in the bed, the events of the last two days flooded her mind.

The memory of Lexa laying on the cold floor was the first thing that sprang to mind. She had been inches away from losing her forever. 

Clarke reached her phone on the bedside. Trying her hardest not to disturb the sleeping brunette, who would probably be horrified to know she had a small amount of drool pooling where her lips met the material on Clarke's shirt.

The screen lights up at Clarkes touch. She had four missed calls from Indra, Clarke internally scolded herself she should have called her sooner.

Not wanting to wake Lexa, she quickly typed a message to send Indra that would quell her fears.

Clarke: _She's okay, she's safe. She knows you're waiting._

Indra's response is almost instant.

Indra: _Thank god. Thank you, Clarke. Call me as soon as time allows._

The movement causes Lexa to stir. Her eyes open slowly. Clarke watches as her eyes scan her surroundings. Before landing on Clarke's face. 

"Oh, sorry, am I squishing you?" She asks, starting to shift.

"In the best way," Clarke replies.

Lexa smiles sleepily. Clarke puts her phone back and hugs her closer.

"How are you feeling?" Clarke asks quietly.

Lexa settles back on Clarke's chest and thinks for a moment. "Good."

"Good, do you still feel sick?"

Clarke feels Lexa nod, "It's getting better though, I don't feel as light-headed."

"That's a plus."

Lexa chuckles before a dry cough overtakes. The laugh strains her throat, still dry from the days of dehydration. Lexa sits up as the cough continues.

"Here, have some water." Clarke hands Lexa the cup sitting on her bedside. Lexa sips it slowly. Taking a few deep breaths, she smiles at Clarke "Thank you."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes… This sometimes happens. It's just from lack of water."

Clarke has the urge to jump out of bed, and find Lexa's mother wherever she is and murder her. The anger must show on her face because one moment she feels fire and rage within and the next, she feels warm hands on either side of her face and soft lips pressed against her own. 

Clarke's eyes are still closed when she hears Lexa say, 

"I know you are angry. Please just forget about them. They do not deserve your time or energy. Your emotions are better spent elsewhere."

Clarke can't help but smile at the girl before her. So kind in a world that has been nothing but cruel. 

Abby is walking past with a basket of washing in her arms. "Oh good girls, you're up. Dinner is ready." 

Both girls turn from their spot on the bed.

"Thank you, Mrs Griffin." 

"Down in a minute, Mum!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! I hope everyone enjoyed the new update! Thank you again to everyone who has been leaving the most beautiful comments, you are all incredible! I wish I could bake you all cookies!
> 
> Also not sure how, but I messed up with Chapter 3 and it somehow didn't get uploaded. So check out Chapter 3 (Nice Shoes) for Lexa and Clarke introducing themselves for the first time.


	9. Change Of Plans

Clarke stands behind Lexa, holding the hand of the brunette, she shapes her fingers around the small wooden paintbrush. "Like this."

"Okay, now what?" Clarke continues her gentle hold on Lexa's hand moving her hand over to the small palette sitting beside the easel dipping the bristles into the blue. 

Lexa turns her head slightly, faces now inches apart. Green eyes contented as they stare into the blue. Clarke brushes her nose lightly against Lexa's.

"You are so beautiful." Lexa surprises herself when she hears the words fall from her lips. As though her mind had lost its filter. She nervously watches Clarke's reaction.

Clarke lets her hair fall around her face, trying in vain to hide her growing blush. She decides, in the end, she doesn't care if Lexa sees her feelings written all over her face. 

Clarke captures Lexa's bottom lip in between her own. Lexa parts her lips inviting Clarke to deepen the kiss. The girls relish in this moment of peace. They part, eyes roaming and hearts thrashing in their chests. "You're sweet."

Lexa shrugs "You just deserve to be told."

The girls turn back to the easel, where Clarke has set up a canvas for Lexa to explore. 

"There is no right and wrong here, you just enjoy yourself." 

Lexa nods, moving the paintbrush towards the blank canvas. 

"I'll be back at three o'clock, Mum is here all day. She will be happy to get you anything you need." Just then Clarke hears her name called from the kitchen, "-I gotta go. You'll be okay?"

"I'll be okay, have fun."

"There is a bookshelf full of books downstairs if you get bored here." Lexa's eyes light up at this. Clarke laughs and leans in gently kissing Lexa's forehead. "Nerd."

Clarke turns as she reaches the door, sending a quick wave in Lexa's direction. Lexa's returns the wave, watching Clarke's retreating figure.

Clarke kicks at the grass under her bicycle. "I wish I didn't have to go."

Abby reaches out to squeeze Clarke's shoulder. "You know it's for the best. Nia knows many people. Including staff and students at your school."

Clarke rolls her eyes, bothered but understanding "I know. I know. It would look suspicious."

Clarke waves goodbye to her mum from her bike, her bell dings as she pedals towards the gate.

Lexa's eyes trail over the canvas, green brush strokes make the leaves of the tree, the grass yellowing under the summer sun. She stands from her position in front of the easel and makes her way over to Clarke's window. She can see the tree clearly through this window, the morning sun causing the old oak to cast cloud-like shadows over the cornfields.

The last two days Lexa's life as she knew it had been turned upside down and inside out. In the most fantastic way. 

The kindness and consideration the Griffin family had shown her was more than she ever thought she could receive in this world.

Lexa blinked away tears as Clarke began to occupy her thoughts, how could she ever repay her?

An unfamiliar tone breaks Lexa out of her thoughts, turning away from the window she follows the sound, recognising the small device as Clarke's phone.

The name on the screen causes Lexa to shake. 'Indra' 

Lexa stands to look at the screen, confused. She has no idea how to answer it.

A green button pulses on the glass screen. She had seen Clarke answer her phone once before, she was almost certain this was the right button.

Lexa taps it, seconds tick away on the screen. 

A very faint voice can be heard.

"Hello, Clarke?"

Lexa leans down again, picking up the phone and holding it carefully.

The voice is louder now, it seems to be coming from a small hole at the top of the phone. Lexa presses her ear to it.

"Hello?" Lexa's voice cracks around the word.

"Clarke?" Indra asks, confused.

"No…It's…" Lexa begins.

"Lexa" Indra is raspy and soft. "Oh, sweetheart."

Tears spill over, "Indie." 

"My beautiful girl, are you okay?" Emotions flood through the phone, as Lexa steadies herself against Clarke's soft blue sheets.

"I'm okay. I'm safe." She says, trying her best to sound strong.

A sob breaks through the receiver "I'm so sorry for leaving you, Lexa. I should have taken you. We could have all ran."

"Don't apologise. It wasn't your fault. I could never ask you to live a life of running, hiding. Neither of you deserved that."

A shaky breath sounds as Indra resigns "You are too good for this world. How are you feeling?"

"I feel better, The Griffin family have been taking really good care of me."

"I'm glad, Clarke is a beautiful person." –there is silence as Lexa thinks of Clarke, she really couldn't agree more with her aunt's statement, Lexa is broken from her thoughts when Indra utters softly –"I miss you."

Lexa's heart swells at her aunt's words "I miss you."

"I don't expect you to say yes, but Anya and I would… if you would like to…would, you like to come and live here? With your cousin and me?"

Lexa couldn't reply quick enough, the words flowed from her mouth like bubbles.

"Yes! Yes! I would love nothing more."

A sigh of relief sounds through the phone. "That is wonderful to hear. Anya is excited to see you. It's been too long." 

"I know…too long." There is silence as they both cast their minds back to the last time they saw each other.

"I have everything organised on this end, and Clarke has everything ready on hers. I will be waiting for you. I don't want you to worry okay?" Indra voice is soft and gentle. It fills Lexa with familiar warmth. A warmth she hadn't felt since she had been left alone all those years ago.

"Okay." Lexa wiped the tears away quickly, dragging them down and away.

"Everything is going to get better from now on. I promise." Indra whispers, trying to keep her voice steady.

"I love you."

"Oh, Lexa, darling. I love you more."

They finish the phone call, Indra recommending Lexa get more rest.

Lexa watches the phone screen flash and go dark.

She sits on Clarke's bed, the phone clasped in her hands. Her head, light and floating.

After a few moments, she stands, sitting the phone on the bedside table. She returns to the easel. Her brush strokes slow and deliberate. 

Hours later, with a stiff back and sore shoulder Lexa's eye glaze over the painting she had created. A large tree, her tree,  _ their _ tree sits tall to one side. Yellowing grass and two small figures rest under the bright, inspired blue sky. She drops the paintbrush in the water Clarke set out for her. 

A soft voice sounds behind her, pulling her from a swarm of silence. "Lexa?"

"Mrs Griffin." Lexa turns, her hand resting on the edge of the stool she sat upon.

"I thought you were asleep, you've been so quiet" A gentle smile plays on her lips, eyes bright surveying their guest. "Would you like some lunch?"

"That would be lovely." Lexa smiles, standing she tries to flatten her pyjamas, suddenly feeling conscious of her most likely faded appearance.

Abby understands, walking towards her, she catches sight of the painting on the easel. "Did you paint this?"

Lexa nods silently. 

"You are very talented. Do you paint often?"

Lexa shakes her head, the feeling of incompetence wash over her. "This is my first time, I've never used anything like this." 

Abby's eyes light up, Lexa notices for the first time the resemblance to the eyes that conquer her thoughts every minute. "A natural then." 

The brunette allows a bright smile to rise and grace her lips.

"Come on, let's get you something to eat. I see you've been hard at work." Abby guides Lexa down the stairs.

Lexa's strength returns with the help of Abby's care and research. It has been a week since Clarke carried Lexa through the fields to safety. Clarke knew in her heart; it was almost time for Lexa to leave. To start her new life. Clarke was trying to be positive, her chest ached with the thought of Lexa getting on that bus and Clarke never seeing her again. What if to spite the town Lexa would want nothing to do with Clarke?

She drags the hairbrush through her blonde waves, lost in her own destructive thoughts. 

"You're sad." Clarke turns to Lexa, who has laid the book she was reading on her chest, her green eyes now watching her curiously. 

"I'm just thinking about how much I'm going to miss you." Clarke smiles sadly. 

Lexa pats the space in the bed next to her. Standing, she places the brush on the nightstand and falls into the bed, her arms wrapping around the brunette's waist.

"I'm going to miss you too."

"Will you? You're not going to forget about me?" Clarke knows she sounds needy, far from her usual self. 

Lexa turns to face Clarke, her hand delicately dances across her cheek. She runs the pad of her thumb along Clarke's lips. "You have invaded every thought I've had since the day I met you. You mean more to me then I could express in words. Clarke, you saved me… long before that night."

Clarke picks up Lexa's hand and kisses the tips of her fingers. 

"You and I are linked. Forever." Green eyes pour into Clarke like freshwater.

"Forever?" Clarke asks, smiling.

"If you'll have me." At this Clarke pushes herself up, her hands causing hollows in the pillow either side of Lexa's face. She shifts her leg, so they lay either side of Lexa's hips. A fire rages in the brunette's chest as warmth spreads all over her body. If this is the  _ sin _ the bible supposedly writes of, then an eternity in hell seems worth it.

Clarke captures Lexa lips in her own. Lightly running her tongue along Lexa's bottom lip. Lexa's hands move to entangle the soft blonde hairs at the base of her neck, causing a soft moan to escape from Clarke's throat. The sound sends vibrations to her core. A feeling she had never known. She didn't feel fear, only the unknown. Her mind was swimming with thoughts while her body took over. Her hands slide along the soft skin under Clarke's pyjama shirt. Her nails digging into the flesh in an almost primal way. She hesitates, unsure what to do next.

Clarke pulls away and gazes upon Lexa's face, her cheeks rosy and lips swollen. She was a goddess among women. Clarke knew this was a lot and although it felt incredible, she knew this was more than they had ever shared. She kisses Lexa softly once more before asking - "Are you okay?" 

Lexa nods, Clarke leans in and kisses Lexa's forehead. She reads Lexa. Her eyes wide and unsure, she understands her without words. "We'll slow down."

Clarke rolls off and snuggles into the brunette's side. When Clarke is settled Lexa leans in to capture her lips once more. Clarke thinks this kiss is from a dream it is so soft and perfect. Their tongues dance slowly, as though they have done this for a lifetime. 

As they lay staring into each other's eyes, Lexa finally says - "It's not that I don't want to." 

"I know, you're just not ready."

"I'm sorry."

"Lexa, never apologise for that. There are some things you don't rush."

Lexa looks around Clarke's room, trying to slow her heart to an even pace. "Does that work?" Lexa says her head turned in the direction of Clarkes old SLR camera. 

"What? The camera?" Clarke jumps up at Lexa's nod. "Yeah!" Clarke makes her way back to the bed, sitting cross-legged she fiddles with the dials on the top. Before bringing it up to her eye.

"Can I take your photo?" Clarke asks, bringing the camera just below her eye.

Lexa nods her permission. "Okay, ready? Smile."

Lexa doesn't need much encouragement. With Clarke, smiles were never far away.

The shutter sounds and Clarke looks up at Lexa who is now looking at Clarke with such adoration it causes the blonde to blush and bow her head.

Lexa reaches up, she tucks her index finger under Clarke's chin and tilts her head to meet her own eyes. "Can I take your photo?" 

Lexa is so curious about the camera, nervously asking Clarke "Can you teach me."

The girls rest comfortably against Clarke's headboard. Clarke showing Lexa which dials to turn and why. How to adjust aperture and speed, and what effect this has on your photo.

Lexa is so interested, her eyes lighting up when Clarke hands her the camera and says "You should take it when you go."

"What? Clarke, no. This is yours. Why would you want to give it away?"

"I want you to capture all the future adventures you're going to have." Clarke smiles at the look of utter disbelief on the gorgeous girls face. "Honestly I  _ want _ you to have it. To remember me by."

"Clarke, you will never be far from my mind." Her hand reaching out to take Clarkes.

That night the girls lay in Clarke's bed, Abby having allowed them to have a sleepover on Lexa's last night. In the darkness, Lexa felt like she was floating, her only tether Clarkes arms and legs wrapped around her. 

Her own voice startles her when she says "What is going to happen to me?"

Clarke is silent for a while, her voice raspy when she replies, "What do you mean, Lex?"

"Tomorrow…when I leave." Silence fills the room once again. "-I feel overwhelmed by how little I know of the world I'm surrounded by…I feel as though I am going to leave tomorrow and be completely lost, lost without you. Lost without my parents. Lost without rules, without limits, without constant threat? Who am I without these things?"

"You're free? You will be in charge of your own destiny. I know you think you are going to be lost, but everyone is Lex. No one truly knows who they are at 18."

Lexa rolls over now facing Clarke. The soft outline of Lexa's faces in the dark causes Clarke to pause. She brings her hair up to tuck a loose curl behind Lexa's ear.

"Tomorrow night, you're going to get on a bus, and it's going to take you to your new life. One where you can flourish without fear, without judgment. Do you want to know who you are Lexa? You are resilient and strong. Kind and funny. You're so intelligent, you have already gained so much knowledge in the last few days. Think of what could happen in the next few months?"

Lexa pulls at the string on her pyjama sleeve, "But what if I get there and it's too hard?"

"Oh, Lex. What you have been through? That was the hard part. Life has to be kind to you after the cards you were dealt."

Clarke can't see the tears but instead feels them from where her hand rests on Lexa's cheek. "Come here." Clarke pulls Lexa into her chest, wrapping her arms around the girl who is now allowing the tears to fall freely. 

"You won't be alone, Indra and Anya they are going to look after you. They are your true family... and in a few months when I have finished school, you and I will meet again. This time it will be forever, just like you said"

Lexa allows the words to roll over and soothe her. It isn't long before their breathing evens, and the moon rises high. Wrapped in each other's arms ready to face whatever tomorrow brings.

Clarke holds the bus ticket in her hand, today was the day. It was dark, the stars outside were so bright.

Lexa turns to Clarke, watching her holding the ticket. She lays the folded dress on the bed and walks towards her. Standing in front of her, she takes the ticket from her hands and puts it on the desk.

"Clarke, three months and school ends."

"Three months is a long time." Clarke rests her head on Lexa's shoulder

"Three months is nothing when compared to forever." Lexa feels Clarke smile on her shoulder. 

"Are you all packed?" 

"Yes, all packed. I don't think I want to take the dress." Lexa says, turning to eye the dress she had arrived in that night.

"Leave the dress." Clarke confirms, her stomach turning slightly at the sight of it.

Lexa nods and picks up the dress, it feels heavier then It should. "I still can't believe your mum bought me clothes."

Clarkes pokes Lexa gently. "Well, you can't wear one dress forever." 

Lexa finds it hard to fathom the kindness she had been shown the last week. The Griffin family had been so understanding and compassionate. Paying them back all that she owed would still never feel like enough.

The girls turn when they hear a knock at the front door. Before Clarke opens her bedroom door, she peers out her bedroom window. A police car with its lights flashing red and blue is parked in her driveway. 

Clarke turns looking panicked, "Lexa grab your things, we have to go."

"What?" Lexa's eyebrows come together quickly fear etched in her expression.

"Grab your bag and the ticket. Change of plans."


	10. Midnight Express

Clarke grabs Lexa's old dress and throws it in her wardrobe. Just as she swings her leg out of the window, she hears the floorboards on the stairwell creak. 

She rushes, launching her self off the window sill and landing on the ground outside with a thud. She reaches up to close the window behind her, hoping her parents will be able to come up with a story if there isn't evidence of her being in there in the first place.

The girls crouch down, trying to keep low enough to stay out of view from all the windows. All Clarke needed was her bike, and they would be able to get into town through the back streets in under twenty minutes.

She knows she left it by the front door, but it was risky. She didn't know when the police would be exiting. She tells Lexa to stay put, making sure she can't be seen from behind a shrub. She crouches low, slowly making her way to the bike leaning against the side of the patio. She takes hold of the bike frame and slowly wheels it out of view of the front door.

Lexa breathes a sigh of relief when Clarke returns. Clarke readies up, throwing her legs over the bicycle. "Jump on, we're making a run for it."

Lexa places her two feet on the footpegs either side of Clarke's back wheels and grabs Clarke's shoulders as she speeds off down the driveway. Undercover of darkness Clarke prays to the universe that her parents are keeping the police occupied.

Clarke's thighs ache and her chest burns. She had never peddled as hard as she was in this moment. The only thing keeping her from stopping was the girl who gripped her shoulders like her life depended on it. In all honesty, it kind of did. If Clarke and Lexa were to be caught Lexa would go back into her parents care, she was still only 17 and her birthday wasn't for another two weeks. Clarke's stomach plummeted with the thought of what could happen in two weeks.

Lexa silently clings to Clarke, her mind is racing. She knew all of this was too good to be true, now all she could imagine was her parents waiting at the bus stop. Somehow having figured out their plan. Clarke's voice breaks her from her thoughts.

"It's going to be okay, we're going to get you there." 

"What if they're waiting?" Lexa asks, trying to hide the way her voice cracks. 

"They have no idea about the plan. They thought you would come home after a week on your own. You didn't, they're grasping at straws. It's going to be okay."

"Alright," Lexa replies, her mind not fully believing the words Clarke was saying.

"We just have to make it to town," Clarke says it more to herself. A mantra she repeats in her mind for the rest of the trip.

Clarke pushes and pushes until the lights from the tower in the centre of the town rises over the road.

Clarke turns, catching a glimpse of the empty road behind them. She sighs in relief.

"It's okay, not long." 

Lexa's neck ached from constantly turning to check, hoping to see a clear road behind them. They had been lucky.

Clarke knew the bus station was close, it was only a few minutes away. 

She couldn't believe the police had come to her house. Nia must have sent them, why else would they be there?

Of course, Clarke had jumped to conclusions, but it seemed to be the only possible reason as to why the police would be at her house.

Clarke's legs are on fire by the time they pull up to the bus stop, her hands stiff from gripping the handlebars. Clarke waits while Lexa steps off the bike, clearly shaken she grips the straps on her backpack.

"Hey…Come here" Clarke pulls Lexa forward, gently wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

Lexa falls into Clarke's arms, letting go of the straps she firmly holds onto Clarke's waist. 

"We made it, you're getting out of here." Clarke runs her hands through Lexa's hair, pulling her in tighter.

"What time is the bus coming?" Lexa asks.

"Midnight, we have an hour." 

Lexa nods into Clarke's shoulder. 

"Let's go inside." Clarke takes Lexa's hand, and they walk into the bus station.

Clarke double-checks the ticket, with the woman working in the booth.

Everything was running on time. Lexa would be in Polis by early morning, far away from this place. Safe and finally happy. 

She quickly sends Indra a text informing her that although there had been a slight change in plans on their end Lexa would still be on the bus.

Clarke turns to Lexa, who's eyes are darting around the large hall.

Lexa was in a state of panic, she felt like her parents, or the police could walk through any of the doors at any moment, and all of Clarkes families hard work would all be for nothing. 

They were so close, Lexa had never been this close before. It was all because of Clarke, all because of this amazing girl standing in front of her looking at her like she had just solved the riddle to the universe.

"Where would you like to wait?" Clarke asks, breaking Lexa out of her thoughts.

"Somewhere with fewer doors."

Clarke smiles, "Less doors. Got it." She takes Lexa's hand and tugs her towards the bathrooms.

Clarke and Lexa sit on the floor of the toilet stall. Their backs to either side of the stall. Legs entwined in the confined space.

"Here. Try one." Clarke leans across and places a small chocolate drop in Lexa's mouth. Lexa smiles at the way the chocolate melts on her tongue. Lexa reaches out before the blonde moves away. She gently takes Clarke's hand and kisses the tips of her fingers. Clarke lets the hair fall around her face, hiding her blushing cheeks.

"I'm going to miss you. More than I think my heart can stand." Lexa says softly. 

"Me too." Clarke allows Lexa to take her hand and hold it under her chin, she leans on it. Thinking for a moment.

"You will visit me?" Lexa says weakly.

"I'll be at this very bus stop the day I graduate," Clarke says confidently.

Lexa's smile is small and careful. "Really?" 

"Might not even go to graduation! Might just skip it and come straight here the last day of school." Lexa's green eyes grow wide.

"Clarke promise you will go to your graduation!"

Clarke smiles mischievously. "Now _that_ I can't promise."

Lexa leans forward, moving her hands against Clarke's sides bringing out a melodic mouthful of giggles. "Oh-my- Lex!"

"Promise!" Lexa says before laughing at Clarke's face, a small wrinkle in her nose, mouth stretched into a wide smile as she wriggles in Lexa soft grip.

"Okay! Okay! I promise!" Clarke surrenders, pushing back Lexa's shoulders and holding her against the opposite wall of the stall.

Lexa smiles, their faces so close Clarke can feel Lexa's breath skitter across her lips. "Good. Now can I ask you for one more thing." 

Clarke takes a deep breath, "Anything." Her eyes searching Lexa's relaxed features.

"Kiss me."

A warmth spreads all over Clarke's body, as her hand comes up to Lexa's face, her fingertips lightly dancing along Lexa's jaw, and up to her cheekbones. She lets her fingers brush through Lexa's hair as their faces get closer. Clarke can't wait any longer, they have limited time before Lexa has to leave and she is going to soak up every second she can.

Lexa seems to feel the same way, as their lips connect once, twice, then three times she can't help but pull Clarke close. Clarke pulls back long enough to slide herself onto Lexa's lap, smiling at the way Lexa looks up to her, eyes full of adoration. Lexa kisses Clarke gently, her feather-light touches along Clarke's arms send small shockwaves throughout Clarke's entire body. Lexa smiles against Clarke's eager lips. Lips that feel as though they are everywhere. They sear lines along her collar bones, across her throat. Her jawline is smothered, and she is sure that smoke is rising from the source. She pulls Clarke towards her, recapturing her lips. The warmth is comfort, healing. Clarke's lips on hers feel like home, they feel like safety. 

Clarke's phone dings in her pocket. The first sound she ignores, but the second and the third Clarke pulls away from Lexa mournfully and unlocks the screen.

"It's Mum, the police left about a minute ago." Clarke types a quick response and locks the screen.

"Are your parents okay?" Lexa's face is furrowed with concern.

"She said they just asked a lot of questions, then got a call on the radio and left." Clarke pushes the phone into her back pocket as she stands. The text had been a necessary distraction, Lexa's bus left in mere minutes. 

"We've got to go, your bus leaves soon." Clarke holds out her hand and helps Lexa off the tiled floor.

Clarke opens the door slowly peering out, all seems normal in the station. So she stands up straight and turns to Lexa "Act normal."

Lexa nods and smiles. "Normal as I can be."

Clarke returns the smile, and just like that, the girls leave the sanctuary of the bathroom. Their eyes continually scanning the room around them. Clarke takes Lexa's hand, squeezing it reassuringly. She leads her towards the bus that is parked idling at the station. People stand hugging loved ones, waving at them from the bus seat.

"Okay. It's time."

Lexa turns to Clarke, a small tear rolling down her cheek.

"Clarke, I don't know if I can do this."

"Yes you can, Lexa." Clarke brings her hands up to rest on the brunette's shoulders. She looks calmly into Lexa's eyes, truly seeing all her worries. All the questions she whispered into the dark when only Clarke or loneliness were listening. 

"What if…?" Lexa begins, her eyes darting towards the bus.

"Lexa, it is okay to be scared. But I promise you only have to be scared for a little longer. Just a little longer. You are going somewhere you are going to be loved and taken care of. Like you deserve." She pulls Lexa in, hugging her tightly. Clarke whispers into the locks of hair. "Polis is the safest place for you, far away from those people."

A flash of blue and red lights cause Clarke's heart to shoot into her throat. She pulls Lexa towards the door of the bus and out of sight.

She holds Lexa's face in her hands, "Okay, it's really time to go. Please. Lexa, I need more than anything for you to get on this bus." Clarke pulls Lexa's head down and kisses her forehead, allowing the tears building in her eyes to fall. 

Lexa looks up towards the lights reflecting on the side of the bus and back to Clarke. She can't let them win again. This was her one chance, she had to. If not for herself, then for Clarke. 

"Okay." Lexa nods, confirming her decision. "Okay. I'm ready...Clarke, I don't know what to say. There's nothing I could say - Just thank you for everything."

Clarke sighs with relief, grabbing Lexa's hands and brushing her lips against her knuckles. "Lexa. I would do it all again. I lo-" Clarke jumps as a loud voice rings over the crowd.

"All aboard! Midnight express to Polis Central!"

Clarke looks at Lexa who is now staring at the door to the bus.

"The police could be here any second. It's time." Lexa pulls Clarke in for one last embrace - she breathes in the scent of lavender and honeysuckle - and security. She lets go of Clarke's hand, taking a step towards the door. Clarke is smiling encouragingly when Lexa turns around. She adjusts the straps on her backpack and steps onto the bus.

Clarke's eyes follow Lexa as she has her ticket scanned and takes her seat.

Clarke holds her hand to her chest, hoping Lexa will understand in some way what she means. Lexa mirrors the action. Her face a mixture of fear and sadness.

The bus pulls away from the station, and it is as though a rubber band has wrapped itself around her heart. As the distance grows, it pulls tighter until the pain is too much and the tears spillover. She quickly makes her way to her bike, the police being close by has kept her from truly allowing herself to get swept up in her emotions. She watches them from a distance. Clueless they get back into their wagon and head in the opposite direction of Lexa's bus.

The wind whips against her face, the tears rolling freely down her cheeks. The tightness in her chest was almost unbearable. She focuses on pushing the pedals, listening to the chain pull through the chainring and the wheels roll over the gravel road.

Clarke's parents envelop her in a hug when she pushes through the doors. This is when Clarke finally allows herself to fall apart. 

"She's going to be okay, she's going to be safe now."

Clarke didn't know if she was crying in relief or complete despair.

She feels a kiss on her forehead, and the light weight of a blanket being draped over her body. She falls asleep to the sound of her mum's voice, "Sleep Clarke, we will wake you if there is any news." 

It feels like she has been asleep for days when her mum shakes her awake. "Clarke darling, your phone is ringing."

Clarke sits up so fast she feels a small ache in her temple, her eyes still half-closed as she brings the phone up to her ear. 

"Lexa?"

"Clarke, hi!"

The feeling of relief Clarke felt hearing Lexa's voice made her cry, Clarke quickly asks "Are you okay?" 

"I'm okay. I'm with Indra and Anya now. Oh, Clarke, they've changed so much and yet not at all. They are both so beautiful and their home, it's filled with books. They made me tea, I've never tried it before, it's wonderful! I feel like I'm finally where I'm supposed to be."

The tears rolled over her smile, the taste of salt on her tongue.

Clarke finally says "Lexa, I am so happy you are happy."

"I owe it all to you," Lexa says quietly.

"You owe it to yourself and your strength. I was just there for the ride." 

"I think a word to describe you right now would be modest. Too modest, in fact."

Clarke laughs, and Lexa melts on the other end of the phone.

"I can't wait to see you," Lexa says, a soft ache in her voice.

"So does that mean I can skip graduation?" Clarke says, only partially joking.

"Clarke, No!" Lexa's voice comes through stern, but Clarke knows she is smiling. 

"Okay, okay." 

They speak for only a few minutes before Clarke tells Lexa she should go spend time with her family. Lexa finally relents.

"I miss you."

"and I miss you. Go, be with them."

Lexa hangs up the phone and smiles at her aunty, who is bringing her another cup of tea.

"So, beautiful girl. What do you want to do today?"

Lexa takes the cup in her hand, the mug large and warm in her hand. "Umm… would it be okay if I slept?" 

Indra laughs, it is a big laugh, short and robust. It makes Lexa smile. Every small thing Indra does makes her smile, makes her reminisce. Every little action reminds her of a time long ago when she didn't have to miss Indra. 

"Of course, I'm sorry. I just have missed you so badly I want to soak up every second with you."

"Well… if you will have me I will be here so long you may get sick of me." Lexa looks down at her tea. The thought was like a punch to the stomach. 

"There is no chance of that happening," Indra says, she smiles sincerely at Lexa, and just like that the the fear melted away. "Come now, let's show you to your room. Now I had Anya decorate, but you don't need to keep any of it. When you're feeling up to it, we can go to store pick up some things to make you more comfortable."

They round the corner down the hall, and Lexa's mouth falls open. 

The room that stood before her was more magical then she could have ever imagined. A large comfortable bed sat in the middle of the room, big dark blue pillows that looked softer then clouds sat at the head of the bed. A small stack of brightly coloured novels with thick spines sat on her bedside table. 

Lexa feels Indra wrap her arms around her, the feeling is so foreign yet so familiar. Her eyes start to sting with tears, the kindness overwhelming.

"This is yours, all yours. Take all the time you need. Anya comes home soon, she'll probably want to wake you up. Although because of our late night she may want a nap also."

"You're sure this is okay?" Lexa was asking two questions. One with an answer that held her chance at happiness.

"I have never been more certain of anything. Rest, I will wake you when lunch is ready."

Once Indra left the room Lexa walked to each corner, slowly waltzing her fingers over each surface. The room smelt sweet, like caramel cookies and the warmth from the sun through the window made her glance towards the desk that rested underneath it. A vine of green leaves fell like a waterfall onto the floor. Anya had laid out a small black journal and heavy silver pens for Lexa to use. Lexa picked up the pen and felt the smoothness of their frame.

Her mind was swirling, calmly swirling. It was as though she was floating. Tiredness crept in, and she glanced again towards the bed. She had never had an inanimate object call to her. But right now, that bed was calling to her.

Her body sunk into the mattress, the sheets like cream. They were so soft, as soon as Lexa closed her eyes, she fell into a deep sleep. 


	11. Saltwater

It has been two months and twenty-nine days since Clarke had stood in this bus station. Clarke had even counted the hours and minutes. It had felt like the longest three months of her life. 

Lexa and Clarke spoke on the phone every night. The daily contact between the two girls had become even easier once Anya had given Lexa one of her old phones. She had become used to texting her and hearing her voice in the morning. But she struggled to lie, It's why she hadn't contacted Lexa today, she didn't want anything to slip out. Keeping the real departure date from her had been difficult enough.

Lexa pokes her head out of her door. "Anya!"

"What!" 

"Have you seen my swimsuit?" Lexa smiles, knowing the brunette would be in the room over from hers rolling her eyes.

"Laundry basket, downstairs!" 

"You're incredible." Lexa takes off down the stairs, almost running into Indra halfway down.

"Whoa, slow down there, Kiddo!" 

"Sorry." Lexa leans in to lightly kiss Indra's cheek before continuing down the stairs. 

"I'm just off to the store, either of you girls need anything?"

"No, thanks!" Then remembering she a session with her tutor tomorrow she says "Oh, actually maybe some snacks for school?" 

"Oh yes, of course, I'll get you something for lunches."

"You're the best!" Lexa is digging through the laundry basket when Anya comes down the stairs, surfboard under her arm.

Indra turns her smiles at her daughter, "How's the new board?" 

"She's good, bit different. I miss my old one, but she went to a good cause." Anya winks at Lexa.

"A lost cause perhaps," Lexa says.

Anya laughs, and lightly punches Lexa's arms. "You're doing good! Don't be so hard on yourself."

Lexa turns towards the staircase and takes each step two at a time. She shouts, "I'll be down in a minute! Don't leave without me!" 

"Hurry up!"

Anya and Lexa had quickly bonded over Lexa's newfound love for the ocean. She was like the sister Anya never had. Lexa coming back into her life was an unexpected blessing, one she hadn't taken for granted. They shared their life's worries and revealed secrets they had never uttered to another soul. 

Anya turns back to Indra, lowering her voice to a whisper she says "Is she on her way?"

"She said her bus is an hour away. So I'll go to the store, get some things for a nice dinner. Then go pick her up. I'm so excited, Lexa is going to be so happy."

Anya smiles, knowing exactly how her mother feels -"Me too. She keeps asking what I'm smiling about, it's hard to keep secrets from her."

Indra glances up the stairs to make sure Lexa isn't listening. "I know what you mean, It's a good secret though." 

Indra kisses Anya on the forehead. "See you both soon."

"Bring Clarke down to the beach. I'll keep Lex distracted."

Lexa zips her navy swimsuit while picking up her phone, checking it to see if she had any notifications from Clarke. She hadn't heard from her since yesterday while Clarke was getting ready for graduation. It was still early, she might be sleeping in. 

She decided not to bother her. She delicately places the phone back onto her desk. Lexa rarely took her phone anywhere. Anya took it with her everywhere. It was a weird concept she wasn't used to yet. 

Lexa smiles as she comes down the stairs, holding Anya's old surfboard. "I'm ready! Let's go!"

Lexa watches the waves roll in, as she adds wax to her board. 

"It's nice out today."

Lexa looks up to the sky and back to the waves. "It's perfect. I don't think I'll ever get used to this view."

Anya smiles, and says "I've been here most my life and I haven't."

Lexa has watched Anya catch two perfect waves. Her body twisting showing her balance and strength. 

Lexa paddles towards her after her last wave, she sits up and straddles her board. She turns to Anya, who is brushing her fingers through to the water causing small trails that disappear as quickly as they appear. A wave is starting in the distance, It's perfect for Lexa.

"You're up Lex."

Lexa takes a deep breath and lays flat on her board. She starts to paddle furiously, she dips into the wave, but it moves too fast as she tries to stand she loses her balance and face plants the water. Her body is thrown into a spin. She takes in a mouthful of water. The air stings as she inhales, her throat burning from the salt.

Lexa grabs her board and pulls herself up. Anya shouts from a few metres away –"Dude! So close!"

Lexa coughs up water before shouting back, "I want to go again!" 

"That's the spirit!" 

Lexa watches another wave come and go before she begins paddling again. She has no direction just the feeling of her hands pushing through the water the sky opens up in front of her, and she knows its time to go. She pushes up off the board her feet now firmly planted on the waxed surface. The water moves with her, splashing against her board and up onto her toes. She has never felt more balanced, her mind completely clear. 

She bends her legs, pushing down on her left leg which sends her up over the wave. 

She dives into the water from her board. She resurfaces and smiles at the sight of Anya with arms above her head, screaming "Yes! Yes! Alexandria Woods everybody!"

Lexa laughs and climbs up on her board. 

"Who's that with Indra?"

"Wha-"- Lexa pushes her wet hair from her eyes "-Indra?'" Lexa turns towards the shoreline. Lexa looks past Indra to the girls standing next to her.  _ Clarke. _

"Clarke?" Lexa lays flat and paddles quicker than she ever had in her life reaching the shore within a minute. She rips her leg strap off and breaks into a run, sprinting towards Clarke, her eyes stinging from saltwater and tears. When she is close, she drops her board and crashes into the blonde. Wrapping her arms around her body and lifting her off the ground, breathing in her scent as she spins her. She places Clarke down and grabs her face. Bending slightly to capture Clarke's lips. A small noise rises out of Clarke's throat. Her lips are so warm against Lexa's own and Lexa thinks she could stand here forever with her lips on her Clarkes. They part and lean their foreheads against the others. 

"Hi."

"Hi."


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like the ending!  
> I have been writing this story for a really long time and it has been amazing to finally share it. What has been even more amazing though is to have received such a beautiful response from you all! So thank you so much for all your comments and Kudos, it means the world!

Clarke looks down at two photos framed side by side. One of each girl smiling on Clarke's bed, Clarke remembers that night in crisp detail. She remembers holding Lexa in her arms as she showed her the purpose for each dial on her camera.

"Babe, look." Clarke hands Lexa the frame.

"Oh, wow. That feels like a lifetime ago." 

Lexa runs her hand over glass encasing a smiling Clarke. She closes her eyes at the memory.

Lexa rarely thought about her time before life in Polis. She could go whole days, sometimes weeks without thinking of her life with her mother and father. She had heard nothing more of them since she left, and it was the way she liked it. She had already wasted seventeen years of her life with them. She wasn't going to waste another moment.

Lexa starts wrapping the frame in newspaper and places it in the packing box with ' _Frames_ ' scrawled in marker along the side. 

Clarke picks up another photo, one that was taken at her college graduation. Lexa's lips pressed firmly on her cheek. She smiles at the memory. 

"It's so funny these photos hang all over our walls yet I never really look at them."

Lexa stands up and wraps her arms around Clarke. "We're busy making memories and taking new ones."

Clarke smiles and reaches up to kiss Lexa's soft pink lips. Lips she was now so familiar with.

"The van should be here soon. Is there much left in the office to pack?"

"No, I finished that last night. I wanted to put the patient files for Monday somewhere I wouldn't lose them"

Clarke shakes her head. "You know they're going to get lost now. You just jinxed yourself"

"You're so superstitious." Lexa taps Clarke on the nose and moves away to continue packing.

Lexa reaches up to pull a photo down from the wall. This one caused her to laugh. _Octavia._ She was hanging upside down from the beam outside Indra's house. The tips of hair almost touching the pavement.

Lexa had never considered herself lucky. In fact up until Clarke, Lexa had considered herself extremely unlucky.

Even she had to admit though, finding Octavia had been sheer luck. 

She had stood at an ice cream stand by a beach her and Anya rarely visited. Anya had dragged her out bed that day excitedly talking about swell and wave predictions at Tower Beach.

She ordered a chocolate swirl, and as she handed the gentleman behind the counter her money, she heard a distantly familiar voice. A voice that had matured since the last time she heard it.

"Lexa, Lexa Woods?"

Lexa had turned, her ice cream slipping from her fingers at the sight of the woman in front of her. Octavia's arms tightly wrapped around her neck before the ice cream cone had even broken on the pavement.

The pair had barely spent a day apart since. 

Lexa passes Clarke the keys and brings her camera up to her eye. Capturing the moment Clarke slips the key into the lock. The shutter snaps, saving the moment forever to a roll of film. 

Clarke peers inside, before crossing the threshold, she turns back to Lexa, "I can't believe we own a house." 

Lexa took in the scene before her, the love of her life standing before her holding the keys to their new home.

Her eyes began to well up from the sheer happiness she felt. 

Clarke leans forward draping her arms around Lexa's neck. "Aww, Lex. It's exciting, I know."

"It's just… I'm just so happy. I just never thought I would ever be this happy" – Lexa leans in capturing Clarke lips with her own. "I'm so grateful for you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you ever have any questions or just want to say hello! You can find me on Instagram @sinead_ashleigh or over on Tumblr at Buttonsbows.tumblr :)


End file.
